Monday, June 27, 2011

Post 28 - Alive-est

Alive-est by Sam Davidson

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. If we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand.
Today I took a yoga class for children. It was actually aqua-yoga.  At the end of the class, as we were sitting in the shade, I was trying to help the girls (7 years old) to settle their bodies and open up their senses. By the way, I teach in English to native Spanish/Catalan children, so a lot of the communication is via the body. 
I spoke to them about listening, and feeling the cool breeze and as I tuned into my own senses as a means to listen with them, everything kind of blossomed. It just took on colour and texture. 
I make my living from helping people use the senses of the body as a gateway into the 'now' and life. I still move from the mind into the moment at frequent intervals throughout the day. I don't need to remember this moment to help me in another, but thank you for the suggestion. I would ask people to learn to be 'here' rather than 'there' if they wanted to activate the integrity of their mind. 

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Post 27 - Personal Recipe

Personal Recipe by Harley Schreiber

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”
I would never want to be a superficial, egocentric liar who manipulates people for their own self gain, consciously or not. 
The fact is, you must live with integrity. If you say something, then you should try to do it and live by your own words. Yes, practice what you preach, without doubt.  If you don't, then people can not trust you with their innermost thoughts and feelings, and to me, this is a sacred gift. If people share with you their inner self you have been given a responsibility to never harm them with your knowledge. However, if you are dishonest or manipulative, you can use their trust against them.  This behaviour to me is repugnant and diabolical. 
You must speak the truth. At best, in certain circumstances, it is better to say nothing at all, but always, avoid lying. 
Act with the awareness that actions have consequences far reaching than just this one moment. Be conscious, strong and aware. Don't let opportunities pass you by. 
If you do something for someone, don't think about it, reward yourself for it or praise your good deeds. It is what it is and then it is no more. Let it go. If you think you are so much better than everyone else, you start to feel superior and lose touch with reality. Don't let your right hand know what your left is doing, to paraphrase Jesus. 
Remember not to judge other people. They are doing the best they can, with what they've got. And you are no better or worse than others. At the basic level, at the most important level, we are all the same, and it's important to remember this at all times.  If you forget in moments of anger/frustration then return to a deeper awareness of the nature of our beings. 
Can't think of anything else at the moment. 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Post 24 - Intuition

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you?
My intuition would be a tall woman with strands of hair like the sun's flames burning in all directions.  She would be calm but full of life and fire.  Her gaze would be steady and penetrating  and there would be the hint of a maybe smile about her lips. She is thin and draped in soft material. 
She would say 'Feel me in every pore of your body. Feel me from the inside out. Trust me so that  we are one movement of life and I can guarantee you that you will only live in your highest honour.'

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Post 23 - Courage to Connect

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.
I haven't wanted to connect to anyone that I haven't already. Thank you. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Post 22 - Enthusiasm

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” is a great line from Emerson. If there’s no enthusiasm in what you do, it won’t be remarkable and certainly won’t connect with people on an emotional basis. But, if you put that magic energy into all of your work, you can create something that touches people on a deeper level. How can you bring MORE enthusiasm into your work? What do you have to think or believe about your work to be totally excited about it? Answer it now.
I dislike this prompt a lot because it focuses on what other people will get if you bring a little bling bling into your swing.   It's not my thing.  Many of the prompts with the Emerson quotes just remind me of what a leader Emerson was and just how difficult it is to fake it.   
I don't think Emerson wrote 'lines'. He wrote. It doesn't come off at all gimmicky or polished. It just speaks straight from his heart. His enthusiasm wasn't for 'others'. Emerson constantly reminds us that we must scorn 'others', especially if it get's in the way of our truth.  
When I am interested in something, really, then is shows. This is not something that can be faked. Unless you're job is to act, and that is another thing altogether. 

Monday, June 20, 2011

Post 21 - You Know

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
We live in a society of advice columns, experts and make-over shows. Without even knowing it, you can begin to believe someone knows better than you how to live your life. Someone might know a particular something better – like how to bake a three-layer molten coconut chocolate cake or how to build a website – but nobody else on the planet knows how to live your life better than you. (Although one or two people may think they do.) For today, trying asking yourself often, especially before you make a choice, “What do I know about this?”
I'm Australian and we tend, as a cultural rule, doubt people who attest to their own authority.  I was also bought up in a household where every one was questioned for their integrity. When I learnt about how other people thought about people like doctors, police, talk show hosts, politicians and all who make a living by counting on your disorder, I was literally shocked.  
People are people after all. No better and no worse than they are. But they are human. And human's are, as we know, capable of great kindness and insight and dazingly shocking behaviour.  We can't tell until we give them a chance. Each situation is unique and can not be dictated by our previous experience. No matter how comforting it is to grab a belief based on a previous experience and hold it for dear life. All you'll get is a repeat of all you've been through in the past.  oi!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Post Twenty - Speak Less

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?
Well this one speaks to me today.  I've been dreading picking up my Catalan studies again. I must learn Catalan.  I live in Catalonia and my partner is Catalan.  I've been here for two years and I still only speak a very basic level.  
I don't make time for study and I feel often unmotivated to learn. I can change that! And actually I have a good friend who is learning very well and often gives me good tips. I will open my books today and make a plan for study for the week!
What would happen if I actually did study?! Everyone, including me, would be happier.  Ok then. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Post Nineteen - Facing (and Fearing)

Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:
1) “What are the costs of inaction?” I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our “lizard brains” (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.
2) “What kind of person do I want to be?” I’ve found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.
3) “In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?” Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along.
No, I'm not facing a difficult life decision.  I will stick with the quote again to write my response.  I print the whole quote out in case someone else is interested in writing or thinking about these things. 
Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I agree pretty much with everything Emerson seems to say.  I have to read the whole book soon. I have a kindle copy.  Yes to firmness today, and yes to scorning appearances.  Cheers to one firm man!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Post Eighteen - Dreams

Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Write down your top three dreams. Now write down what’s holding you back from them.

1) True compassion arises in the hearts of all humankind and is listened to. 
2) I am fearless in embodying the Truth. 
3) My house is clean from top to bottom at the same time. Just once would be good enough. 

What's holding me back? Purely time management skills.  Learning to delegate without guilt and learning how to prioritize without apology.  Sometimes laziness. 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Post Seventeen - Invent the Future

Invent the Future by Cindy Gallop

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.
My future is being an empty chalice ready and waiting for the flash of light from within and only moving from this source.  In some way, this is the same action, that is non-action. It is the eternal Tao and it is the spark of life.
My future is when I have fully and totally surrendered to life at every moment. I have agreed wholeheartedly, without one speck of resentment, and I have engaged with life as it is.  
My future is now. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wholly Strange and New - Post Sixteen

Wholly Strange and New by Bridget Pilloud

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.

Being strange and new makes you an outsider.  I remember once, in a business meeting, there were talks about our current boss and how we had to rip the carpet out from under his feet by striking the next day.  And while everyone was merging together on this idea I stood up and talked about how our boss had sacrificed all of his life savings, how he was working harder and longer hours than all of us, how we had agreed to help him at the beginning when the dream was still believable and now, when things looked bleak, we would totally destroy him by walking out on him. It was a moment when I stood clear and alone and was speaking from a place that had nothing to do with money or safety but with the clear thought that if we truly disbanded he, personally, would never recover. 

There is a lot of talk of glory and independence with 'strange and new' but it often leaves you gutted emotionally.  Not many people can take it. 

It reminds me of T.S. Eliot's  Journey of the Magi

A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times when we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities dirty and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;
With a running stream and a water mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wineskins.
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Post Fifteen - One Thing

Do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Take a moment, step back from your concerns, and focus on one thing: You have one life to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. Sounds simple, but when you really focus on it, let it seep into your consciousness, you realize you only have about 100 years to get every single thing you’ve ever wanted to do. No second chances. This is your only shot. Suddenly, this means you should have started yesterday. No more waiting for permission or resources to start. Today is the day you make the rest of your life happen. Write down one thing you’ve always wanted to do and how you will achieve that goal. Don’t be afraid to be very specific in how you’ll achieve it: once you start achieving, your goals will get bigger and your capability to meet them will grow.
Publish my book. (Still unwritten)
It has to be the biggest cliché in the modern world, but I can't remember not thinking I was a writer.   I wrote stories when I was a teenager, I read zillions of books, I studied literature at university, I ran away to the country to write and I have completed three full length books and never had anything longer than one page published.  
My mum even called me a few weeks ago to remind me that she's still waiting to read my book and maybe nurse another grandchild.  I passed on the child and thought about the book again. 
The biggest problem I have writing these days is I can't seem to find the point.  There are SO many books to read. So many already published and so many of them are complete rubbish.  Do I really want to add mine to the pile. I'm not sure right now.  
This started as a post about something I've always wanted to do, and haven't. The fact is, I haven't had a lot of things I've wanted to do and if I have, I usually do them. The book thing is the only lingering hope from the past that I have. 
My son will be leaving for the summer, and it will leave me some more time to myself. I guess I could look into writing then. Not much of a plan, but I'm not really someone who likes to plan a lot. Sigh. This feels like a failed post, somehow.  I don't really resonate with a lot of the prompts. They all suffer from the assumption that the person writing doesn't already have their s&#t together and needs to be personally coached into getting their life into order. I'm finding it a bit boring...  But I did commit, so I will continue. 

Monday, June 13, 2011

Post Fourteen - Alternative Paths

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.
I think one of the biggest causes of unhappiness in our world is the insistence on the personal ego.  In training it, strengthening it, improving it, disciplining it, learning to make it more happy.  It's truly a failed quest from the out start. 

I remember one of my friends studied long and hard for her Doctorate, and the day after she had achieved it, her facebook status read 'so what's next?' 
There is no next. In reality, there is just one bunch of shapes and forms and colours differently placed than the last moment. The dance of life. You can't hold any of it. 
My quest is to wake people up from this trance of 'trying' to be happy. Trying to reach their goals.  Notice how its the pursuit of happiness and not 'be happy'.  You can not get there for any sustainable length of time doing it through the self's little goals. 
We've got to wake up to the hidden inner aliveness within each of us.  That is life. And that is happiness. 

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Post Thirteen - Surprise

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?
Today I'm so stuck with the question that I will just focus on the Emerson quote for my response. 
I agree, that we must not hide our tastes or aversions, especially to ourselves. It's important to know ourselves and what drives the will.  But I think there is a big difference between our personality's whims and the 'truth' that is deep within us.  I do think, if we are honest with ourselves, and do not hide from the ups and downs, our likes and dislikes and we face it all squarely, and with deep acceptance, then yes, we will come out 'safe' at last. 

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Post 12 - Fear

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the answers to the following:
Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?
Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?
Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.
One of the biggest fears I have is that I will believe the hatred, fear and arrogance I read in other people's faces.  I can see through my own beliefs but sometimes the down right violence of another's attitude can pierce my heart and I almost fall victim to believing their pain. It's a strong moment of empathy and I'm happy to get to the other side of it once they have walked on by. 
Again, I have to thank you for your suggestions, but I have no intention of believing the nonsense other people believe. 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Post 11 - My Divine Idea

Divine Idea by Fabian Kruse

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?
I can't really relate to this topic. I have felt like an outsider for most of my life and have been referred to as 'strange' by just about everyone.  I used to abhor the 'normal' and fear the 'mass'. Meaning, I couldn't understand why girls only talked about boys, their nails and pop stars, and boys talked about football, female genitalia and ?? I don't know what else they talk about...   cars?? Anyway, it seemed to me insane and I never wanted to be like anyone I ever knew. I have always fought for one's right to 'be' rather than be subservient to social pressure.
My struggle has been more to do with not needing to express my 'difference' in all ways, including hair, clothes, inappropriate questions and occasional  radical behaviour. I see value in looking like everyone else sometimes. Many people listen more to someone like themselves rather than to someone who looks like they are 'against' everything. (I have a lot more to say on this subject buy I'm rather rushed for time.)  Until tomorrow,. 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Post Ten - My Personal Message

Your Personal Message by Eric Handler

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Post Nine - Afraid to Do

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.
I agree with Alicia, on several points about this topic. I must admit I don't usually hold things back, unless they are family or friend based.   I don't usually like to write about my relationship highs and lows with Albert and I gloss over any 'problems' I might face with people I know. 
I'm not sure if that's being too scared, or just aware that this is a public space.  
I guess I'm afraid to write about the depth of my anger. In general. I don't talk about it, or write about it.  But I find my personality often 'angry'. I don't often react on it, and I watch it a lot, and I allow it, but its still there.  The other day a man was holding a woman around the throat and the rage in me superseded all thoughts and I was racing directly between them. I heard a man cough behind me, and I realised in some place that what I was going to do was 'interfere'.  But my rage was like fire in my blood. I couldn't stop and even in hindsight, I wouldn't stop myself. 
I get angry at stupidity. At thoughtlessness. At injustice. At lies.  You can imagine that I'm angry all the time. Sometimes I think I am alive for this anger. I used to become it. I used to 'be' angry. But these days I rest in the space of 'observation' as much as I can. I move back into the emotion, what ever it is, and allow the space that is aware of the anger to come into conscious being.  
Of course, being a yoga/meditation/qigong teacher and having a reputation as a 'nice' person puts a kind of façade on my life also, and I usually don't bring the topic of anger up too much. I guess I'm afraid that people wouldn't be open minded enough to understand how I feel, or even believe me.  They see me smiling too much. 

10 Things You Can Do to Save the Ocean -- National Geographic

10 Things You Can Do to Save the Ocean -- National Geographic

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Five Years - Post Eight

Five Years by Corbett Barr

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?
To Five Years Ago Me: Don't hesitate. Don't think so much. You get that feeling, you go for it and don't worry about what 'others' will think. Speak up for yourself and use direct 'man' language. Don't  suggest. Just say what you need to say and blow away all the fog of 'maybe they think...' because that is just a figment of your imagination. Do the best you can, and then let it go. Stay true to your heart and trust your instincts.  You're right. 
To Five Years Older Me: Sweetheart, you're five years closer to 50.  I hope you're still as hot as you are now and you're still keeping up all that asana practice. How was 2012?  Anything actually happen? You know,  you've seen your future as a hands on healer.Are you doing it? It seems a distant future, but I guess in five years it will be a reality. Did you learn what all of the meridians mean? You were suppose to.  And remember we felt that it was really really important to embody.That it means more than you think. Are you doing it?  
Is Jett fine? You have to take the supportive claws out of him now. We agreed 16 was old enough, yes? And if he gets caught in some kind of drug mess we take him backpacking, or walking the camino or something right? Don't spare the horses and go with your instincts!!!  Have you remembered Mum's birthday.  Please send something. She'd really appreciate it. 
Ok then, hope you're well and everyone is going strong. Love to you from me. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Post Seven - Dare to be Bold

Prompt: Dare to be bold by Matt Cheuvront

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneurs worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious.

A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. Its only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.”
- Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.

Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.

The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?

I would love to pick up a small bag and walk out the door and just keep walking. I've always wanted to do it. I can't remember not feeling the urge to just keep walking and never look back. To throw myself into the universe's hands and see where it would take me. 

I'm not going do it at the moment.

There isn't really anything else I'm afraid of doing. I guess, anything with commitment brings up fear. This year starts a new phase in my life. I'll be turning 40. My son will start at junior high school (committing us to living here for a minimum of four years, ideally), and we have a five year payment plan for our new car.  I've never lived in the same house for longer than 4 years. It's already been two here.  I've never survived a 5 year relationship. This is the fifth year of my relationship with Albert. I'm horrified of all of the tentacles reaching into life making things seem more permanent than they really are, just because the story is longer.

My tendency is to want to break them. I do feel like a destroyer some times. 

But if you asked me what my goal is, that doesn't have fear wrapped around it, it's to open a 24 hour yoga studio here in Granollers. I would love to have a space where people could come in and practice or have 'quiet space' at any time of the day.  Even the churches are locked here in the middle of the day. Where can we go, to rest a moment in peace with an embrace of acceptance?  I'm not afraid of this dream, but it will take more money than I have and a lot of planning. Like a lot of people, I'm an ideas person and to make this work, we'd need a 'do' person. 

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Post Six - Come Alive

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.
Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

Yes, if I had one week to live, I would still do what I am doing.  The only difference would be the people around me would treat me more consciously. Perhaps they would even listen. That could be nice.  
I spend 30 minutes every day planning my day and looking at the week. Then I live it. Living, no matter what I'm doing, is where I am alive. And if I am not, then it's my slip and has nothing to do with my actions.  
Bonus is not applicable. 

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Travel - Post Five

Question: Where do you want to travel in the world and what will you do to make it a reality? My top places to visit are on next year's summer holiday list. Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt. I want to visit the fertile crescent, the cradle of civilization. Iraq seems out of the question at the moment, as does Israel. But to visit the temples of the ancients, that's my travel dream.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Big Challenge - Post Four, #Trust30

This was a tough one, but the biggest challenge in my life right now is about time management. How can I sensitively balance my 'to do' lists so that the most important aspects of my life are not neglected? Last Monday I spent hours writing down all of the things that need to be done and setting up folders on my laptop, and the next step, when I get back home (I'm away at the beach), is to put my lists into my diary. I halved my work, but I was still suffering the feeling of being overwhemed by responsibility. Of course, as I write this, I realise that I take things way too seriously. I've lost my sense of playfulness under the regime of 'but it's important!' sigh. Perhaps my new post it can read, 'How can I bring joy back into my daily life?'


I remember the first time I read this book, 'Journey Into Power'. I was impressed with how much sincere information was given in such a small book. It is literally stuffed with good advice for people learning about yoga. Since then, I've seen Baron on videos, and it's true, he talks, A Lot! He know so much, and he wants to share his knowledge freely. He is a gifted and well knowledged yogi, and I still recommend this book as I did 8 years ago. Best of luck Baron!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

My Strong Belief - Post Three

Prompt - One Strong Belief 

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?
(Author: Buster Benson)
I believe that underneath everything, is nothing. And for us to raise our consciousness and get out of the selfishness of our little selves, we must not make another 'idea' as our flag and brandish it about.  Look at our history. We change ideas, we try new ways to conform to someone else's great idea, and we just make a mess of it. Look at Jesus, and then look at the Church. We can not live another person's idea. It only leads to repression and violence. 
We need to go beyond ideas into the living essence of 'now'. There is life. But life can not be thought. You didn't think yourself into existence. You were, before you thought you were. One of the biggest 'mistakes' of our latest thinking is 'I think, therefore I am.'  You think then you are only a limited little petty selfish self.   We must all work towards moving beyond thought. Transcending thought. 
And I do this every day. I work with living and presence, and mindfulness in this moment. What comes from there is very very different than what comes from a self circling  thought. 

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Today - Post Two



Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.
Today, my friend, is an alive gift that will bring you infinite happiness if you are the present itself.