After walking for 24 days in the Camino de Santiago, I came home feeling clean – internally clean. There was a flow of life and love through the body and I felt emptied out.
Then, this morning, I was confronted with a rock of pain in my throat chakra. It hit hard, considering my recent ‘empty’ state.
I was sitting down stairs, in the local bar/café, and slowly I went through the motions of the pain.
I was sitting in my Catalan class. I haven’t been there for nearly 5 weeks. I didn’t really want to go there, knowing the class would be far ahead of me. I haven’t bonded with any of the other students and most of them speak Spanish together in the break. I usually feel like an outsider, in an outsider’s class. (We are all foreigners living in
, so we are identified ‘other’ from the locals.) Catalonia
I was the first to arrive. I was happy to choose my own seat, and have time to take a look at the books. The first students started to arrive, and they all greeted me with a smile and a moment of surprise, considering my long absence.
Then one of the students, a young woman, saw me as she came in to the class (there are only five students, so its impossible not to see me) and she flicked her hair, and ignored me completely. I had my face raised with a tentative smile.
I could list my complaints about her. There are many. But the main one is ‘rudeness’. As I sat in my chair, and felt her silent slap in the face to my reappearance, my mind instantly went to other petty things I disliked about the girl. Her hair, her too tight clothing, the way she laughed ‘too loud’, her black high heels, her inability to be ‘wrong’ in class, and there were so many little nit picky things I was thinking – and my throat started to hurt. Its even closing up now, as I write this.
What is the throat chakra related to? Will power. My will power over others, and over the Tao, the
Great Way, over God’s will, and over this girl’s will.
The great pain I suffered this morning was my own doing. It had nothing to do with the girl. But her audacity, to live in a way that did not subscribe to MY internal laws, hurt my throat.
Rudeness is one of the things that has always ‘got my goat’, so to speak. It makes me hiss and bare my teeth. But again, ‘rudeness’ and what it represents is MY way of seeing the world, and it’s a way that is not obviously universal.
So here I was, confronted with my will, the way I wanted to world to behave, with someone else’s. And that confrontation gave me the first echoes of pain I’ve had in 5 days.
We use qigong and yoga to clean the body, mind and spirit of the daily refuse.
Your body is your greatest teacher. Follow its feelings, its awareness, its pain, its subtraction, its expansion. Follow its guidance, and it will indicate to you, where you’re sending your energy, your time, and your love.
Thank you to the girl in my class, for helping me to see myself clearer. Truly you are my teacher.
What's made you froth at the mouth today?