Friday, August 14, 2009

Kindness, no strings attached

I’m so tired of one hand giving while the other hand holds a list of clauses that go with it.

Somebody offered me something. Then, when things didn’t go as they wanted, they took it away.

I felt a sudden horror of dishonour. But, then I searched my own nature, and I’m sure I’ve done it too.

Given something, even a smile, and expected one in return.

How often do we really give? Honestly give. Give with out no thought of what someone is going to do with that gift. No thought of return. No thought of consequences. A true gift of love. How often do we give without a silent but heavy back pack full of ‘buts’?

So, instead of laying in bed and thinking negative thoughts, I will slowly turn myself into the person I wish other people were. I invite you to come with me. One day at a time – to give with true kindness, no strings attached.

(and honestly - I don't mind if you don't do it! You're off the hook for this one.)


Tiffany said...

When we are 'kind', but want something back. Its not kindness. Its bribery.
Think how many times we've cooked dinner - and thought or said 'you didn't even appreciate that.'
Serving dinner can be a slave job, or an act of loving service. Its our choice.
Do we want to be kind, or do we want to bribe?
How many times have I smiled at someone, and they didn't smile back and I thought 'what cheek!'
That's not kindness - its 'tit for tat.' Its old thinking and keeps us keeping records of if you give me two in kindness, I will give you two in kindness.
Only a human could think like this.
With you all in love and thanks.
These little trials can be great lessons! Thanks OS for being such support. Breathe.

Brian said...

I respectfully disagree, at least partially. Seems to me that what your labelling "strings" & "bribery" are just examples of Mindful Giving. That is, based on reason & experience (if one has been burned). I would call what your describing Mindless Giving. That is, with little thought to past experience or future benefit to the receiver.

Tiffany said...

:) Hello Brian -
Shall we agree to call it 'mindless' giving instead?
I can agree to this also, that the giving is not thought out. However, if we just peek to see 'our expectations' (and sometimes this is thrown into our face by an unexpected response to something we've given), then we can see that we're actually rather selfish in what we do, unless we remove the expectation and/or strings.

viv said...

Nice thought Tiffany, I have been also struggling to give without getting and also in the simplest of ways of to be less judging. Wouldn't the world be a better place that way.

Brian said...

I plead mindlessness myself. I read a book recently called Mindfulness, by Ellen Langer, & it seems, when I posted earlier, this idea was still on what passes as my "mind" :)

Yes, "mindless" giving... thanks for your response, Tiffany.