‘I don’t want to do it today.’
‘I feel bad because I haven’t practiced all week.’
‘I don’t want to disappoint my teacher.’
‘It was ok to start with, but I feel like training is a burden.’
‘When I started, I needed change, but now, I feel fine, so I’m not going to continue any more.’
‘I don’t see the point anymore.’
When ever we begin a new project or activity we start fresh, open and willing. Some of us continue with little problem, but most of us begin to feel that continuing training becomes more and more difficult as our mind throws up obstacles.
By beginning a mind/body discipline, you are suggesting to yourself that you want change of some sort. You might want to feel calmer, to get fitter, to feel better, to look good in a swim suit. This forces you into a new role of student and learner.
However, as we begin the process of change, we come up against certain resistance. Our ego has been happy so far. It does not want to change things. Its used to the ups and downs of our moods, and it likes the indulgences and thoughtless activity. Our ego will resist.
At this point, we either give up, or we struggle along with lessening enthusiasm. Or, we can see what the mind is doing and remember why we began and wanted to begin training in the first place. (If you’re an absolute new beginner, it’s a good idea to write yourself an honest letter explaining why you want to begin a mind/body discipline. As honest as you can. And when you feel that you don’t want to train any more, take a look at the letter as a reminder of how you felt at the beginning.)
Dealing with ‘I don’t want to.’
We want to practice, first and foremost, just noticing the resistance. Because we feel or think something, it does not mean we must act upon it. Let it be, but continue the practice. Sometimes we don’t want to brush our teeth, but we do it anyway. (At least I hope so.)
Being honest with ourself. What is the real reason we feel resistance? Is it fear of change? Is the training taking us to places that makes us feel uncomfortable?
Talk about it with other students and/or your instructor. Perhaps some changes in the routine is required to help pass through a difficult stage.
Be compassionate with ourself. We have many years of being a certain way and thinking certain things, and living with certain patterns of behaviour. If we were perfectly happy with how we are, we wouldn’t be looking for change. We’re now opening ourselves to a new way of being. It usually does not happen over night. It will take some time, some patience and some forgiveness on our part towards ourself.
If you have any other suggestions about how you can combat ‘I don’t want to even though its beneficial for me’ post them or e mail.