Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I am Not a Yoga Teacher

What a frigging relief.

I don't have to live up to self imposed unattainable standards. I'm my own worst nightmare. 

You know what I always wanted to do? Write. Just write. And that's what I'm going to do. Get back to basics.

I was brought up athletic and I love to play sports, but somehow, with teaching and considering myself a role model, I've lost my love. I've lost what I want to do. I'm just a shell.

I used to be somebody. Then I was nobody. And now, maybe, I can be who I really am - just simply me, no strings attached.

That's my New Year's Intention. To be me. To open my mind to the Light. To let the Light shine through the me. That's it. Awareness. Clarity. Simplicity. Get back to basics. 

First and foremost I'm a mother of a two year old. I'm a stay at home mum. I'm tired of feeling that being a mother is in the way of what I really should be doing. I am what I am. Not more, not less. And I'm telling myself, not you. I'm explaining something very simple to myself. 

It's been painful to lose the person I thought I was. To lose the Somebody part of me. I didn't want to give it up. And I've been so miserable maintaining a façade of Somebody. Underneath there was a deep fear I was Nobody. And that's kept me trapped between fear and struggling to revive the shadow of a used to be. Much worse than a Somebody. Just a used to be. 

And I know this is a struggle going on in my mind. I'd be labelled mad, for sure, if anyone could hear what was going on. 

Anyway, one step at a time. To begin with, I am not a yoga teacher. 


Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Fatty, Fat Fat

During the past few days I've had to look closely at some of my belief patterns pertaining to food and body image. I've had to look at my feelings towards being female, fatness and food.  

Mindful Eating Update
My family, my son and partner, have flat out refused to do the mindful eating meditation with me, even once. That's their choice. So, when I put the meditation on, I am alone with my little girl. 

The meditation goes for about 9 minutes. The first two minutes are about relaxing and settling into the senses. I have not been able to get past 30 seconds before I am already putting food into my mouth. I am watching myself, and I feel anxious and tense. Even as the audio says to go slowly, I am speeding up. I have always finished my food within 5 minutes. I can stop before I am stuffed, but I am always full. 

I have been trying to do this meditation without criticism and name calling. But with observation, acceptance, and calm. 

Fat

You're not going to like what I have to say. 

I have never liked fat. Fat on me, or fat on anyone else. I'm a fattist. I have associated lack of fat with worthiness. Fat always indicated negative characteristics like greed, laziness, selfishness. I have never been fat, until now. I didn't mind being a bit fat because I had my baby girl as an excuse. I told my family I would be back in shape within 6 months. It's now 18 months, and I am not back in shape. 

I started to get fatter when I was about 14 and I got my period and I started to fill out in the hips. I hated my body changing. I hated the fat on my thighs. I thought my thighs were huge monstrous things. I used to be a runner, and my grandmother told me that if I didn't stop running my legs would get so big that no man would ever be interested in me. 

Fat reminded me of my step mother. I disliked my step mother, a lot. She was tall, blonde and big busted. I saw her as fat. I didn't want to be a woman. Women were weak. Men were strong. It really is that simple. 

I thought I had removed or dealt with these problems from my mind, but the further I go into the mindless eating, the more they rise up in front of me. 

I am not just dealing with eating too much, I am dealing with my relationship to fat and females and issues of power and control. 

Who Had the Power in Your Childhood?

I was talking to Kate this morning, and as I was talking about discipline, she said something that made a lot of sense.  She reminded me that if my father was so controlling, the only way I could maintain some freedom, something a bit wild, was by having a secret relationship to food. 

My father was a a master manipulator. He was the one with the power in our house and he controlled everyone, one way or another. Control is a big issue for all of us, and as I have stopped judging myself as I eat and I have stopped trying to control my weight or worry about my body, I do really feel as if I am losing control over many aspects of my life. I'm even starting to waddle when I walk. 

Since not seeing my father in the last 20 years, in some ways I have become a father to myself. I control myself, I am disciplined and rigid in some issues. My relationship with myself is in many ways a mirrored relationship of my father and myself as a child. And seeing this is huge. It's painful, sad and a huge relief. I thought I had let him go, with forgiveness, but I had carried him with me inside of my head. Not necessarily his belief systems, but many of his values. 

Kate also noticed I was calling the mindless eater names. It seems to be its own entity. But what was nice having Kate to talk about it with me, is she was gentle and curious about this darkness, not judgemental or willing it gone. So even on top of the observation, I could add a little compassion and curiosity to this aspect of myself, it could help it to surface more clearly. 

Discipline or is it Control? 
I'm a disciplined person when it comes to certain things in my life, like exercise. When I have decided to do a thing, like train for a half marathon, or learn pilates, I do it. No excuses. But when does discipline become a need to control? When does it start to impose itself on yourself and others? I have a strong judge archetype. It's often rigid and critical when it's in its shadow side. And again, let's just sit back and watch it. Let it out. Observation and acceptance. 

Who Am I?
When did you first ask yourself this question? Have you ever asked yourself? The first time I seriously asked myself this question I was 21. I still don't know. It really does feel like there are layers upon layers and even though I think I see glimpses of light, there seems to be always another layer to peel off. 

This post is a bit all over the place. I have a lot going on. Bear with me. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

My Earliest Food Memories

I'm going to ask some questions about food and eating, and I’d if you’d like, feel free to answer them along with me.

Q: What are your earliest memories of food and eating?

Our dinner table was a stressful place. Eating was always a problem. My father dominated the table with rules about how to eat. Elbows in (don’t cluck like a chicken).  Sit upright. Fork turned over. Eat with the mouth shut. Don’t speak while you were eating. No elbows on the table. Obviously don’t eat off your knife.  Eat everything on the plate or there was no dessert, and if you didn't finish your plate, then you had to eat it cold at the next meal, and sit there at the table until you ate it. Breaking a child’s spirit was seen as correct parenting. Obeying was seen as a prime rule in our house. I often ate until I couldn't eat any more. I have no idea when I am full, and have always been someone who has a huge appetite. 

My father was often angry. And unpredictable. He used to quickly jab a fork into my hand if I didn't follow one of his rules. I often didn't know what I had done. It seemed random.  I was often afraid. I used to eat the things I didn't like first, so when it started to get difficult to eat, I would have to eat the things I liked. That was easier.


Q: How do you feel talking about your childhood and eating? 

The other day, when I first started to think about food when I was a child, my heart started to pound in my chest. My stomach started to get tense. I started to breathe irregularly. I recognized I was having a mild panic attack. I went and laid down on the bed for a moment, and just sat with the emotion as much as I could.

I started working with my child archetypes with Sparrow about 6 years ago, and cleared quite a lot of blocks and I felt happier than I had in a long time. I think that work helped let me feel something echoing down the past.

The main technique I have for blocking pain is to switch off. Emotionally it feels empty, like there is nothing there. But I think it’s just a wall has been put between me and the ‘hurt’.
Recently, shining the light into the darkness of food and eating, I can see quite clearly that I am ready to allow emotion and release from those early memories. Memories that I didn't even realize were a problem.

I was talking to Kate about my early memories this morning, and I could feel, as I feel now, a tightening and constriction around my throat and a dull pressure on my chest, and tightness in my solar plexus. My shoulders are tight and there is a lot of body tension. Obviously there is clearing to be done. Clearing and healing.

Even though I have been working with childhood issues for a long time. Over twenty years. It’s still there, in different layers.

Yes, I've come a long way from the resentful, angry and isolated teenager I felt I was, but there is still so much to release and let go of. So I give myself leave to speak about it once more, and perhaps to write about early eating experiences once more, but then I will move into the healing and releasing. I don’t see any need to dwell in the past. Just enough to bring it up , so that I can catch the tail and finally let it go.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Tips for Relaxation

Steps to Relaxation


- Relax your head. Feel your face muscles, your scalp and even your hair relax. Notice your jaw and the backs of your eyes.


- Relax your shoulders. Move them back if you need to. Feel the line from your ears to the ends of your shoulders become softer.


- Relax your chest and front part of your body. Let there be space in your chest. Mentally follow the curve of your breasts. Feel how natural your breathing is.


- Relax your back. Feel all the muscles loosen. Notice the back of your skull.
Relax your upper limbs right down to the finger tips. Wriggle your fingers to help them loosen up. Release tension from your mouse hand and forearm.


- Relax your lower limbs right down to your toes. Feel all your tension running out of the soles of your feet. Let your mind be aware of the groin and inside of your thighs. Relax your centre.


- After you have relaxed your whole body. Relax your thoughts. Breath deeply, and on every out breath, let your body softened and release.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Exercises to Help Reduce Stress

  • Before we begin any stress reduction exercise, we need to put our mind into the right gear.
  • It helps to consider your environment, including space, noise, comfort, distractions and air flow.


The exercises

Sample class one

Warm up/ Self awareness (10mins)

Abdominal breathing (breathing gently into the stomach)
Shake it loose (gently shaking different parts of your body)
Roll downs (feet are shoulder width apart. bend your knees. slowly drop your head and roll down)
Shoulders lift and drop

Standing Strength/ balances (7 mins)
Posture awareness - mountain pose
Variable squat options
Tree
Eagle
Triangle pose
Wide legged side stretch
Chest to leg extension

Back bends (7 mins)
Cat stretch
Cobra /child’s pose
Half bridge/happy baby pose
Rocking chair

Forward folds (7 mins)
Cross legged forward fold
Cobblers pose
Three limbed forward bend
Boat pose
Chin to chest wrap and extend

Inversions (7 mins)
Down face dog
Shoulder stand
Plough pose
Knee to ear press

Twists (7 mins)
Passive reclining twist
Dynamic rolling twist
Seated cross legged twist

Warm down (12 mins)
Corpse
Posture
Rolling the eyes
Kneeling clasped knees upper back
Neck stretches
Self massage


Stress Reduction - a discussion

Identify your stress triggers and learn how to reduce stress and increase energy.

Regain your sanity!

Introduction of stress and what it is and how it feels.

What is stress?
When confronted with a stressful situation, adrenalin starts pumping, your muscles tense, your senses heighten. Your body is primed to deal with stress in two ways – fight with your utmost strength and energy, or run away as fast as possible. It helps you by giving you energy, quickens your response rate, your mind is sharper and clearer. If you recognise the sense in your body and move with the energy release you can enhance performance in whatever you do.

As its part of my job, I’m practising awareness of stress in my daily life, and observing stress in others. I’m quick to see the obvious effects in my family and friends, in people I see down the street, in films and, as I travel, in people from different cultures.
When, as a teenager, I began to understand the effects stress was having on me, I quickly began to research methods to alleviate the problem. I was suffering severe migraines and had already been on daily ‘what if’ painkillers for two years before I understood how important it was for me to take responsibility for my own health.
I was stressed about the world in general. I felt unsafe and uncomfortable. I was angry and unreasonable, bitter and hurt. And these emotions compounded into insufferable migraines where at 17 years of age I was laying on a bed, unable to move my head for the pain of a hint of the dimmest light or the slightest noise produced.
I began to facilitate awareness of stress triggers.

Now, the problem is not stress itself. Its when the fight or flight response is engaged too often that we see the adverse effects. Bodies can only take so much stress and if you take too much your body and mind will break down. Maybe you’ll get sick, collapse from exhaustion, or loose enthusiasm. Our day to day world constantly bombards us with stressful situations. Our culture rewards those working under pressure. We want over achievers, high powered, assertive and I can do any thing types.

Where does stress come from?
What events typify your stress trigger?

Stress Triggers include
- thoughts (power of the mind),
- memories (negativity is usually translated as heaviness in the body)
– cars
- demands
- deadlines
- children,
- guilt
- money
- bills
- parents
- then the pressure of the social world
- what we look like

The list is endless and customised for each person.


Does the stress comes from outside of us? -from other people or things we can’t control? Ask yourself if you can honestly do anything about it?
And the answer is, often, no.
so… if we can’t change what is happening to us, what do we have control over?
Our selves and our reactions. Our responses.

What happens when your body begins to stress?

The immediate effects include
increase heat
begin to sweat
heart rate increases
internal focus, senses heightened
urge to urinate
breath quickens and becomes shallow
pupils dilate
muscle tension – stomach, shoulders, hands

In the long term, stress contributes to
poor sleeping patterns and/or insomnia
anger
frustration
head aches
heart palpitations
hypertension- high blood pressure which can cause arteries to harden, kidney damage
nervousness
blood flow increases to muscles and brain
depression,
cancer


Questions to answer.
How do you currently deal with stress?
What does stress make you feel?
What relaxes you?

Why reduce stress?
Because its detrimental to health, work and relationships. Stress reduces interest in sex, decreases vitality.
Reducing stress in the work place will increase production and your analyzing skills will improve.
Your family, relationships will improve- decrease in anger, frustration – increase in appreciation. Observational skills will improve.


Introducing the mind/body relationship
– postural signatures – body language – holding tension in the body
How are you sitting now?
Recognizing other people’s postural habits as a way to see your own.
When we learn to tune into our bodies, we can recognize stress immediately.
We can decrease stress physically. The mind and body relationship is powerful.
Emotional states have their physical correlation. Physical states create emotion. Its been suggested that the memory of emotions are not located in the brain, but in patterns of proprioceptive activity in the muscles… for example – one’s experiences are literally embodied. Postural signatures, our reactions to stress are learnt, learnt, learnt! And then memorized and repeated.

Understand the relationship between your mind and body. How positivity, like happiness, makes us feel good, and how worry creates tension and pain. Is this true?

Activate self responsibility and self awareness.

Some stress management options
Qigong,
Yoga,
Meditation,
Affirmations,
Massage, (Self massage; scalp, forehead, cheeks, eyes, mouth, neck, shoulders, hands feet)
Acupuncture,
Atmosphere (lights, aroma, music, colours)
Exercise,
Humour,
Sleep.


Relaxation Exercise

Lie down or lean back in a comfortable chair. Yours hands are loose by your sides. Close your eyes. Clear your mind of thoughts. Smile from inside. Take several breaths. Slow and relaxed. Smile from inside your heart.

Repeat to yourself ‘I am going to enjoy deep relaxation for five minutes. When I come out of the meditation I will feel fresh and calm.’

When you feel that five minutes are over, gently stretch your body awake. Open your eyes. Massage your face. You will feel fresh and calm. Practise this daily for the greatest benefits.


It is not stress that is the problem.
It’s how we handle stress that needs attention.

Stress down combining elements from stretch, breathing awareness and visualization techniques
How do you deal with stress? Think about a situation - - -
Learn about yourself. Know thyself. – you hold the key to your greatest journey, your greatest discoveries. The unknown territory of the self.
What relaxes you?
Can you think of ways you could deal with stress that would be more ideal? Humour?


Points to consider in reducing stress.
Place options into temporary and long term solutions.
Lifestyle
Nutrition
Exercise
Self time
Escape?
Holidays (get a way from the ordinary stress triggers)
Massage (release of muscle tension)
Exercise releases positive endorphins in the body, creating a high, known to reduce stress
Relationships - loving, supporting, caring, sex…
Pet – love, caring
Guidance /counseling – pool of humanity, learning from each other, finding the right guide.
Identifying where stress is coming from
What situations trigger stress
Affirmations. Note! The subconscious doesn’t know you’re joking…. What is your self description- the main thing you heard as a child- you’ve heard it over and over until it’s the truth. Recreate your self image using self affirmations – golden rule – in the present tense.
Time management
Music sensory
Shopping – feels good at the time. Temporary. Can become an addiction. Self mirrored in possessions…
Drugs – temporary, addiction, can help people through certain periods in their life. .difficult stages
Partying – escape… abandonment , giving up of responsibility
Escape/movies – escape/leisure
Sauna – relaxation, heat takes tension out of the body, relieves muscles
Retreats – most common problem is learning to bring what we have learnt from a retreat into the ‘real’ world. Useful. Inspirational.
Reinforce your learning
express gratitude
compassion
writing
singing shouting affirmations
enjoying exercise
love!
love of the self
valuing the self
visualization
mental imagery
reading
studying
Keeping a diary – reviewing the day

More TOOLS!

Stretching is one of the most efficient ways of exploring ourselves and our inner states. You will experience yourself in the present as each instant goes by.. As you practice, you are remaking proprioceptive maps of yourself, and you are finding new ways to resolve those places in your body that suffer the reactions to the stresses of daily life.

Yoga - some mental stress can be physically worked out in the asanas. Concentrating on body awareness during asana practice gives a mental break from worrying about other things… long savasana releases mental and physical tension. Pranayama calms the nervous system.
If you practice asanas close to your edge, you can momentarily boost the sympathetic nervous system (involved in flight or fight response) and therefore you are dealing with stress in a safe, controlled way. With conscious breathing. . . then you follow up with restorative poses- you then activate the rest and repair response from the parasympathetic nervous system … you become calm and relaxed. Heart beat slows, respiration steadies, blood pressure drops. Stress hormones are decreased and healing mechanisims in the body are turned on.

Qigong emphasis on posture and breathing accounts for reduction in muscular tension and stress. Practitioners report greater ability to cope with fear and anxiety. Physical benefits are reflected in their mental attitude. Helps to neutralize stress, rather than resist it. Qigong practitioners report less tension, depression, anger, fatigue, confusion and anxiety – they feel more vigorous and had less mood disturbances. Boosts the immune system, maximizes the body’s full potential to regenerate healthy cells which slow the aging process. Promotes deep acceptance and self awareness.

Self responsibility and self awareness.
Exercises
Write down some words: home, family, work, self (desires, needs, wants), social, study, leisure
Then put that group into sub divisions, for example - Home – children, cleaning, cooking, responsibility
What produces unproductive stress for you?

Then, write up an ideal scenario – write up a way to get it.

Discussing what self esteem is based on.
Learning patterns from parents… we thought out parents knew what they were doing - they didn’t. Welcome to the greatest myth of childhood - Responsible Parents. Self must be responsible for the self’s actions and life style


Mind control – Why? How? Exercises.
Why self awareness – higher awareness, participation and observation of life.
Increases opportunities, Observing the self in action. Feels good, no – feels great! Vision is clearer, our ears open to listen, our eyes open to see.
Increasing self awareness – why? (no longer random, you choose, environment no, but your response..)
Perspective – artist
Stretching the body stretches the mind. Using the different tools to create the same outcome – self awareness, balance, clarity of thought, deeper insight, enhanced creativity. ‘yoga offers a a safe environment to challenge yourself – to your own limit.’
become aware of the chatterbox…. Incessant criticizing, talking, observing, judging good and bad.. /proud of our chatterbox (wit, personality)-----?
Turn off the chatterbox. When its gone you experience happiness without labeling it as such. It turns off naturally when you are immersed in being rather than thinking of being….
How? Through self awareness. Breath control…

Step one – self awareness through exercise. Getting to know the body, the breath, feeling your body talking to you. Listening! Respect / love – of the self.
Step two – becomes second nature. The mind stills, observes, and vision becomes clear, uncluttered, focused – all senses heightened – yet the body is involved with everything and still the mind is still peaceful, being- aiming to increase this feeling for longer periods each day.

Stress down combining elements from stretch, breathing awareness and visualization techniques
Consider spinal awareness, feldankrais, pilates, mensendik…..

Pointers to remember
Learn to delegate and prioritize (don’t make others helpless and needy by your need to organise and be in control)
Learn to recognise your stress triggers and how to deal with them. Knowledge is power!
Is your self esteem based on looks, or possessions, and what you do… rather than being? Focus on being.
Retain a child’s ability to be joyful

Where does bound less energy come from?
Love!
Because when we love to do it, nothing is difficult.

Stess Management in Five Minutes

We are Masters of our environment!

Questions to think about.

What is stress?
Where does stress come from?
How do you deal with stress?
How does stress make you feel?
What relaxes you?


Five minutes of refreshment
Lie down or lean back in a comfortable chair. Yours hands are relaxed and gently open by your sides. Close your eyes softly. Smile from inside. Take several deep breaths. Slow and relaxed. Smile from inside your heart. Take several more breaths.

Repeat to yourself ‘I am now enjoying five minutes of deep relaxation. When I come out of the meditation I will feel rejuvenated and at peace.’

When five minutes are over, or you feel that five minutes are over, gently stretch your body. Open your eyes. Massage your any part of your body you feel still holds tension. You will feel fresh and calm. Practise this daily for the greatest benefits.

It is not stress that is the problem.
Its how we deal with stress that needs attention.

LifeNutrition style topics to think about that may add to our stress
Exercise
Self time
Life management (grid concept)
Nutrition

Stress management options
Qigong
Yoga
Meditation
Affirmations
Massage (Self massage; scalp, forehead, cheeks, eyes, mouth, neck, shoulders, hands feet)
Acupuncture
Atmosphere (lights, aroma, music, colours)
Exercise
Sleep