After Acceptance Comes the Plan to Regain Health

I've been writing about my failings as a fitness professional and my weight gain and feelings of depression. And that is all part of it, but it's not the only part.

Since the middle of December 2015 I've been taking vitamin d, vitamin b, iron Floridix, spray magnesium and white Kwao Krua.  

I've been sleeping better thanks to my daughter Lydia sleeping better.

I've increased my exercise time. Weight bearing exercises at least three times a week and play ground fun with Lydia a minimum of three times a week too. Plus what ever else I can fit in.

I've dropped the amount of bread and pastries I'm eating and although I'm still sneaking in a few, I go for the small bite and make sure I have a hearty healthy snack for the 6pm rage of hunger that overcomes me. I have also started planning our meals again, and increased fruit in the mornings and vegetables all day.

I started drinking coffee again.

I've started to limit my internet, especially in the evening and the mornings.

I've replaced normal hair dye with henna! This I'm so happy for.

I've begun to feel a lot better over all. I'm feeling good, energetic, started to get my apartment in order. Started my old Flylady routines. Overall, I'm feeling great.

I don't seem to be losing weight, but I'm ok with that for the moment. All I care about is feeling better, more energetic.

Over the next few weeks I'll write in detail about some of the changes I've incorporated and see if it's something you'd like to do too.

Thanks for your support.

Forty Fat and UnFit

What happened exactly?

Of course my life changed dramatically when I left Norway 8 years ago. I was a fitness instructor in a busy gym. I trained regularly on top of the classes I had and I knew my place in the world. I was a yoga teacher and I was multi skilled in the fitness arena. I was versatile and could take Pilates, core strength classes, kids classes, rehab classes. I even created a fitness belly dance class. That was the centre of my life.

First comes love, then comes the Marriage.

My little family of three moved and we travelled around south east Asia and to Australia. We were on the move for two years. I home schooled my son and I practised yoga and when I could. I even practised by the river Ganges. We did pilgrimages to sacred sites and I prayed, meditated and I felt like I was deepening my awareness of life and spirit. 

Settling Down

We moved to this apartment in Granollers Catalonia about 6 years ago. I'm about to get my residency permit. So for 6 years I haven't been able to work, legally. There have been some loopholes that some people have been willing to fall in, so I have been working on and off when I could. 

My role changed from single independent mother, bread earner, creator and manager of my destiny to mother, cook, cleaner, supportive partner and occasional teacher. I felt disempowered. My heart and mind hadn't caught up to my reality. Yes, I blogged about my experiences. Yes I trained and walked and explored. Yes I tried to do the best I could with what I had, but a fundamental flaw remained. 

Then Comes the Baby Sitting in the Carriage 

We had a baby. It really got between me and who I thought I was. My need to be a good mother was fighting with my need to be a yoga teacher. Both were failing. I suffered some problems towards the end of my pregnancy. My skin was itching terribly. I had pain in my back. I felt alone, tired and ridiculous. What was I doing, a forty something without many friends or family around her having a baby? Was I crazy? There is no financial support here in Spain, for a baby. The father gets two weeks leave. My family were in Australia. If I didn't have a compulsive cleaning teenage son and Kate my best friend here, I would have fallen off the deep end.  Albert works long hours. He's often out of the house twelve hours a day. I can tell you vomit, a demanding baby, being three days unshowered, the house work getting out of control can send anyone over the edge. Don't even get me started on lack of sleep. Lydia at 2 years and 3 months has just started sleeping better, and I do believe it's one of the reasons I'm feeling so much better. 

Basically sweet pastry became my best friend. I have been known to go on a walk and stop in every single bakery along the way, just for a little something. Yes. And I lied about it. Actually, about a year ago I realised I was a binge eater. I had no idea. I just seemed to blank out. I was lying about the food I was eating. I started to think about food more, and it's control over me. I blogged a bit about it last year. That was shedding some light on who I had become. Someone I didn't recognise. 

Where is Your Self Esteem Plugged In?

I didn't realise I was getting my self esteem from my strong athletic body. But I was. So if I was fat and flabby, how do you think my self esteem was talking to me every day I looked in the mirror? 

I didn't realise that I was used to getting support from my social group and my work. I used to be praised often. I used to be called upon to shed light on a matter. People contacted me to help solve problems. And here, I was nobody. Nobody was calling me. Nobody was telling me I was special and gifted and an angel. Here I felt ignored. Looked over. Unimportant. And I was in a rage about it. My little me was shouting all the time 'what about me? I am important too! I am somebody' 

But the fact is, I used to be a somebody. Then I became a nobody. And now, I am just me. I don't need the approval  of others. I'm not looking for it. I am not in the self pity game of 'poor little me' - I've been there and done that. It's not for me. No label for me just now. And breathe.

Who am I?

I still considered myself a yoga teacher first. A teacher. And I wasn't. I was failing. I was two sizes bigger than I was before I was pregnant.  And as the years went by, I discovered I was becoming embittered, frustrated, angry. At everything and everyone. Because they were in the way of who I thought I was.

Thank God for having a change of mind, a change of heart. Thank God for learning about yourself and being able to flick a switch on in your darkest moments. 

And here I am, rebuilding my life based on who I am at the moment. I wrote a bit about it before, but I can't tell you enough how important this moment has been to me. 

From frustrated and impotent yoga teacher to fulfilled mother, determined house keeper, loving cook, and heartfelt companion to my family. Like I've said before, I still teach sometimes. And I have other part time jobs, including a new online jewellery shop. But number one is my two year old daughter. I will not spend one more second wishing for something I don't have, consciously or not. I am filled to the brim with my life here. If only I let it in. And not see it as 'worse', or 'failing'. How can being an attentive mother to a darling girl be a failing?! How could I think I needed to do more to be more to achieve more? 

And do you know what? My headaches stopped. And the pain in my neck stopped. I'm smiling again. And exercising. I feel like fruit instead of chocolate. I still feel like chocolate, just not as much. And I'm just buzzing with life and creativity. I can feel the spirit move within me. My vision has started buzzing. 

Conscious Archetypal Shift! It's possible and it's wonderful.

I've even started thinking in poetry again, and that's always a sign I'm plugged into the source of Life. 

Revisiting Fatty Fat

I was watching that Eminem movie the other day, and I was struck by the truth of moment. If you put all of your fears out there, what can you or anyone else do? You can't be afraid any more. Nobody can say what you haven't already said yourself. 

It's so sad to admit, but one of the things I'm afraid of the most is someone asking me if I'm pregnant again. I dress to cover my stomach. I usually dress in really baggy tops. Partly it's genetics. My mother also tends to carry weight around her stomach. It's partly being two sizes bigger than I was three years ago. It's partly just eating too much. 

And I don't want to be afraid any more. 

So here are the two things about my body I am trying to constantly hide - my stomach and my triple chin.

It's liberating to see it up on the big screen.

I know this isn't for everyone. 

But it is for me. 

I don't want to be afraid of my own body any more.

I want to practice what I preach. 

Self acceptance. Self awareness. Truth seeking. 

I was writing on Fat back in May of last year. Especially pertaining to my eating habits. Here's the link if you're interested. 

Bringing Consciousness Into the Every Day - Practical Experience

Ok, so we all feel great after a meditation and within a controlled environment.  What happens to our awareness on the field.  When we are placed in situations that have always tested our patience?

Yesterday I went to pick up some groceries from a local co-op. It's a small organic and free trade place.  There were two men behind the counter and one woman being served.   I glanced at the clock.   It took them 7 minutes to attend to me.

The Seven Minutes:  during those minutes I experienced what I always experience in these situations. Frustration,      anger, intolerance, judgement. I felt my body go hot and cold and tingling under my arms from the sensation of pure injustice.

The Difference:  I allowed the sensations. I let them come in. I watched them. I did feel a resistance to them. But I also allowed that.  I had a sensation of guilt (how can I feel so negatively after such a beautifully spiritual morning), but I allowed that too.  And the body moved and changed and the feelings came and went and I watched and stood firmer in awareness than ever before.

Every judgement that came up I felt my initial resistance to feeling negative emotions, and then I deeply allowed and let it go out of the system.  The mind didn't hold on. It truly came and went like clouds passing.  But the awareness, or the clarity of the vast sky remained.

And I walked home, and all traces of the 7 minutes of emotion dropped away.  There was no energetic imprint. It was gone.  There was no repercussion.

No guilt, no 'should', no resistance. Just awareness, accepting and deep watching. One moment at a time.

Adya  reminds us that this is not the 'final place' to rest. But it is the foundation.  The first part was touching upon Awareness itself. The second part was consciously spending more time with it. The third part is bringing it outside of the controlled environments and meditation practice and into real life situations.




Photo: Tiffany Jones Granollers

Yoga Sutras by Swami Rama

Embody the Mystery

Another day and I throw out the question again. 'What am I suppose to do?' If i feel these things, if I see Life behind the surface, if I know that so much of it is just a playground, what am I to do?
The answer has only ever been energetic. That is, I feel it within my body. I feel an extra charge of Life course through my insides and I interpret it as 'be a channel for Grace' - words taken from Caroline Myss.
Today was something different. A great light pierced my forehead. The word 'embody' pulsated in my mind. Embody what? I ask, still wanting everything spelt out.

'Embody Life.'

'Embody the Mystery.'

'Embody God.'

'Embody the Tao.'

But more simply, just 'embody'.

Its very personal. I embody 'It' my way. There is no law, there is no script, there is only what is. 'The You and Me becoming We.'

My way is through the body. Through the awareness of prana/chi/qi in the body. Using Hatha Yoga and Qigong to enhance awareness of the awakening of the Life Force within us all. So be it.

At the same moment, I discovered the beautiful video below of Seane Corn. She is living her Yoga as it was originally taught. Thank you for the inspiration.

Listening to the Body - a case study

After walking for 24 days in the Camino de Santiago, I came home feeling clean – internally clean.  There was a flow of life and love through the body and I felt emptied out.

Then, this morning, I was confronted with a rock of pain in my throat chakra. It hit hard, considering my recent ‘empty’ state.

I was sitting down stairs, in the local bar/café, and slowly I went through the motions of the pain.

I was sitting in my Catalan class. I haven’t been there for nearly 5 weeks. I didn’t really want to go there, knowing the class would be far ahead of me. I haven’t bonded with any of the other students and most of them speak Spanish together in the break.  I usually feel like an outsider, in an outsider’s class. (We are all foreigners living in Catalonia, so we are identified ‘other’ from the locals.)

I was the first to arrive. I was happy to choose my own seat, and have time to take a look at the books. The first students started to arrive, and they all greeted me with a smile and a moment of surprise, considering my long absence.

Then one of the students, a young woman, saw me as she came in to the class (there are only five students, so its impossible not to see me) and she flicked her hair, and ignored me completely.  I had my face raised with a tentative smile. 

I could list my complaints about her. There are many. But the main one is ‘rudeness’. As I sat in my chair, and felt her silent slap in the face to my reappearance, my mind instantly went to other petty things I disliked about the girl. Her hair, her too tight clothing, the way she laughed ‘too loud’, her black high heels, her inability to be ‘wrong’ in class, and there were so many little nit picky things I was thinking – and my throat started to hurt. Its even closing up now, as I write this.

What is the throat chakra related to? Will power. My will power over others, and over the Tao, the Great Way, over God’s will, and over this girl’s will.

The great pain I suffered this morning was my own doing. It had nothing to do with the girl. But her audacity, to live in a way that did not subscribe to MY internal laws, hurt my throat.

Rudeness is one of the things that has always ‘got my goat’, so to speak. It makes me hiss and bare my teeth. But again, ‘rudeness’ and what it represents is MY way of seeing the world, and it’s a way that is not obviously universal.

So here I was, confronted with my will, the way I wanted to world to behave, with someone else’s. And that confrontation gave me the first echoes of pain I’ve had in 5 days.  

We use qigong and yoga to clean the body, mind and spirit of the daily refuse.

Your body is your greatest teacher. Follow its feelings, its awareness, its pain, its subtraction, its expansion. Follow its guidance, and it will indicate to you, where you’re sending your energy, your time, and your love.

Thank you to the girl in my class, for helping me to see myself clearer. Truly you are my teacher. 

What's made you froth at the mouth today? 

Your Brain is Too Small for the Job

We try to figure stuff out all the time. From war to water wastage, to why kids hit each other and why we throw cigarette butts on the floor.

I don’t know. Do you?

Have you figured it all out?

Do you have a system that works and answers all the questions?

The fact is, many of us live with points of view, and these are like coloured glass that we look through the world with. Well, I’ve got socialist leanings, so my glasses are a light red colour and when things upset my image of the world, maybe my glasses break, but I just buy a new pair.

That is, we put a bandaid over the problem and think it will fix it – or we shove it into the box of ‘that doesn’t fit with my view of the world’ that gets bigger and bigger and we ignore it more and more (much like my sock drawer that is also a drawer for bits and pieces I don’t know what to do with).

The human brain is just not capable of seeing things how they really are. Its too full of its own ideas. It has to be ‘this’ way, or people shouldn’t do that, or I don’t understand – and its continual. Just listen to people. How many times a day do you think, or hear someone say ‘people are just crazy’.

There is something more. But what is it? If our brain can’t understand it, why do we keep using it for the job? Perhaps there is another part of us that has the capacity to perceive, rather than see. Things are really not black and white. Its our brain trying to order everything. But it gets jammed.

Along with many others on this journey we call life, I look you in the eye, I hold your hand, and I say – let’s try with the heart. Maybe the heart is big enough to understand. Maybe the heart can see the truth without trying to impose limitations. Perhaps the heart can guide us through the jungle.

Just a suggestion.

Important of Practice

We’re not just looking for a flat stomach. We’re not just looking to fit into last year’s pants.

We’re practicing yoga, qigong, meditation to bring the One that dwells within out of the closet.

When we sit in silence, when we practice mindfully, when we watch the thoughts and make the detachment from them, we are giving the indweller, the eternal Self, a chance to come through.

We know that there is an egoic self making demands. We know it puts us into situations where we can never be fulfilled. And we give it a lot of attention.

The more we practice meditation, the more we liberate the indweller. The ‘Being’ that is constant.

Our practice is our fight for freedom from the egoic mind. Our practice is our path to peace. Our practice defends the Soul from the many illusions we are presented with on a daily level. Our practice helps us navigate through the jungle of life.

Practice is more than getting stronger, fitter, and better than the guy beside me.

Practice is our truest friend and guide. Be loyal to your practice and without a doubt, you will lift layers of artifice from your mind.

With love

Advice for Sadhana by Amma

“We are like pure rainwater that has become impure by falling in the gutter. The water in the gutter needs to be cleaned by connecting it to a river, and this is what sadhana does. Even though we are, in reality, the untainted Atman, because we are bound to the gross, physical world, there are impure vasanas (tendencies) present within us. We have to purify our minds by discriminating between the eternal and the ephemeral, and through meditation. And as we are purified by meditating, we grow strong.”

Amma Embracing the world for Peace and Harmony

Three Words On The Way to Unity

Belonging

When we come into our yoga class, we have an opportunity to practice unity. We start by gathering our mind together. Releasing the memories of the day. Letting go of the tomorrow. And we use the presence of our body to bring our awareness into focus.

This is the first level of unity for us during asana practice.

Practicing acceptance

When we resist what is, when we fight it, we are against it. It is different from us. It is something our mind does not want or comprehend and we reject it. This is not yoga.

During yoga practice, let’s say ‘its ok’. Let’s accept our limitations. Let’s understand that getting it ‘right’ or getting it ‘wrong’ is the same thing. It is. If it is – then its ok.

Once we start judging, we can’t see clearly. Once we get emotional, foggy is the word for our vision. One breath at a time. Because it is.

Belonging

Belonging is an extension of acceptance. In savasana (corpse pose) I like to use the words ‘you belong in your body’, or ‘you belong, right here, right now’. There is no other place you should be. Should is a term the mind made up. We want to get closer to the ‘what is’ – not further away. Thinking in terms of ‘should’ turns us away from the centre.

Grasp it. Embrace it. Because it is.

The Human Mind and The Universal Mind

The human mind can’t understand a fragment of it all. Don’t try. The human heart understands. But we have to give up trying to figure stuff out. We just get angry, sick, unhappy, frustrated, depressed and confused.

Breathe through the heart. The world works on an energetic level. Your heart understands it. But listening with your heart is painful. It hurts. It breaks. It tears. And it knows that the bigger it gets, the more it understands. Your heart belongs. It is. Its pulse is the pulse of life. The gentle breeze in the evening. The rhythm of the ocean.

Trust

God or Universal Consciousness – what ever you want to call it – trust it. Because it is. Your mind resists. But when was a human right?

Nature is. It’s a fact. It does its thing no matter what we do to try to stop it. We chop and change and burn and pollute and still flowers bloom. Still the storms come, and still the sun shines.

Because it is – trust it. We change our mind at a moment’s notice. We say we like this, and like that – and if we don’t get it, then change – and what ever – inconsistent and ever changing is the way of the mind. But It – is. Never changing. Always present. It’s the only thing worth putting our trust in.

Acceptance, Belonging, Trust.

Three steps to Unity.

Acceptance of What IS

or

‘wishing to be somewhere else with someone else’ won’t magically fix things.

Yoga is Unity. Let’s start from there.

To be in unity, we need to join, mentally, the thing we are doing, or the person we are with. This is called awareness. In hatha yoga class, we learn to join our body. To be one with the moment. To feel the stretch, the balance, the flow of energy. As we concentrate, we become more alive, more aware, more focused and more energised.

That’s normal.

However, usually, if there is a problem, we can mentally be somewhere else. If we are cleaning, or doing dishes, or talking to a boring person, we just drift off mentally and then we don’t have to be ‘joined to the moment’.

However, this is escapism. And it doesn’t fix anything. It just delays, represses and ignores the reality.

And yoga, in all honesty, is a tool that is helping us to grow up. To become responsible. To stop being a victim and become the seat of power. To become You and Me.

Go beyond boredom.

What is the most boring thing that happens to you? When do you want to ‘escape’? When do you wish you were somewhere else with someone else? Why do you keep blaming someone else for your own unhappiness?

If we think about it for just a moment, we can see that its not sane. Its not logical. Nobody can force us in our reaction. If there is one thing we do have control over, it is our reactions, our responses, the way we view the world and the way we greet life every morning.

If you say ‘yes, but, he does ‘this’ and then … how can I not react to that? Its so irritating.’ Then you are being a victim of circumstances and not the master of your own destiny. Make a choice.

Be bored. On the other side of boredom, is aliveness. Search out boredom. Fill yourself with it until you can’t take it another moment – and then – you’re on the other side, and the moment is magical.

Practice (try this!)

• Sit down in a comfortable chair.
• Relax. Be comfortable.
• Stare softly at the thing in front of you. (the TV is NOT on)
• Breathe.
• Watch your self.
• Notice every thing. Become alive.
• Allow yourself to see and feel and just watch.

What happens?

The Art of Not Knowing

Exploring any new frontier means exactly that. Its new. There is no precedent. It doesn’t matter what field you work in – it doesn’t matter what beliefs you hold – we all need to be able to not know, before we can know something new.

No expectations, no disappointment.

Be an empty chalice.

Be a clear crystal glass.

Be empty.

If your glass if full, how can more be poured in?

If you already know – this is not for you. But if you are exploring, if you are wondering, if you are creating – then let us become empty – let us open out minds to the unknown.

How can we not know?
By withholding expectations. How many times have we looked at the weather forecast – or seen a cloud on the horizon – and said ‘ahh, now the weather will be bad for the weekend- everything will be ruined.’ How many times have we thought ‘there’s no point, I already know what he/she will say – or think – or react if I do ‘this’. How many times have we joined a group of friends and thought – this is going to be exactly the same as the last time… before it even begins…
If we already know – then we deny the possibility of the new.

What happens if we don’t know?
Perhaps, we feel afraid… That’s the unknown, ever since we were little – the darkness, or the new place, or the new school, or the stranger. The unknown reveals itself – and as we grow up – we learn that its ‘not that bad’ – and these fears drop away – but then – they turn into fears of change – and they freeze us in time.

There are many books on facing the fear, there are audio guides, there’s help – if you think you need it – and if you feel a ‘pain in your throat’ or you feel uncomfortable reading about ‘fears’ maybe you need to think a little about what it is you are afraid of..

The good thing that happens when we don’t know – is that we invite imagination – or inspiration – or a higher power –or what ever – into visit… and the brain explores its space and enters new territory.

How do you think Einstein figured stuff out? He didn’t know – and he tentatively opened his mind to ‘not knowing’ – he felt safe not knowing – and he explored the ‘space’ and came up with amazing information that has changed the world we live in.

You can change the world we live in – right now… by opening up to the possibility of not knowing…
And this – my friends – is linked to something else. Its linked to trust. But that’s for another post.

Where Lies the Freedom of Rules?

Where is the freedom of rules?

“Think not that we have revealed unto you a mere code of laws.”
Baha’u’ llaha

When we start out, and begin looking at religions, trying to find what resonates, we come up against laws.

We, as Seekers, based in the West and looking eastward, are stifled by the Church, by the good and bad morality, by the judgement and the guilt. We’re looking for more than material gain and a suffocating marriage where we smile with the mouth only.

We question the rules we have been taught. We question the ten commandments – and we come to some agreement with some of them, while others make us feel pressured, as though we were going against our own self.

Be careful.

Step warily.

Once you have chosen the seekers path, there are many ways leading into the darkness of the self. The self that twists and turns like wind in a storm. Be careful not to become the shadow of a rock, for fear. Be aware of the ego and the demands of this selfish child.

Search, discover, stand firm.

The laws – the guidelines - the rules, they are there, for a reason. Some need to be questioned – and some will reveal their treasure to you.

You are not the first. You are not the last. We are all together. Some have less awareness, others have more. You and I are in the middle of it all, together, taking this journey.

Stay humble. Watch your ego. Listen to nature. Let your heart sing.

Remember that in a storm, the strong and unbending oak is torn up by its roots.

But the bamboo, its roots stay firm, while it allows itself to bend gently this way and that, and when the storm resides, its roots are firmly in place. Be like the bamboo. Find your strength and let the winds come. The winds do come. There is no denying it. They are but winds, and you will endure.

Spiritual Seekers

b
Questions to ponder along the way.

Life before questions
We are caught up in the daily grind. The grind includes our routine, our constant round of ‘things to do’, our commitments and our duties.

We live.

What triggers questions?
Moments in our life when we are confused. The moments when what we see (observe) is not what we’ve been told (conditioned). There is conflict within, and we begin to question.

Moments in life when we are shifted outside, maybe for the first time, of the safety of our comfort zone.

Questions can begin at any stage and at any time. You can try to search for the answers, or ignore them and keep doing what you’ve always done.

Questions to consider
Where do our beliefs come from?

What is it that we are searching for?

What can we live without?

What do I need to keep?

How important is it for me to hold on to tradition?

Do I understand the need for rituals?

Can I tolerate other opinions and points of view as as valid as my own?

What environment do I need to perform at my best?

Do I believe in being productive?

Do I care about responsibility for myself, family, friends, society, country, world?

Is there a god?

Do I care if there is or not?

What are we here for?

Can I live without knowing the answers?

Do I need routine in my life?

Do I value my sanity more than the truth?

Is the ‘truth’ so important, that I can give up my life to follow the truth?

Do I need a teacher?

Do I need support?

Can I be different and accept myself anyway?

Can I be open minded?

Is it ok for me not to know all the answers?

Is it ok to live with the best I’ve got at the moment?

Is the environment my responsibility?

Is it enough, to be ‘nice’?

Who am I?

Who are you?

Who are we?

Do I really care?

What difference will having an answer make?

Life on the Path
Discover the basics. Discover the things you need to be a functioning human. Understand yourself and your needs and accept them. Once you have the basics covered, take the steps you need, at your pace, at your stride, and do what you have to do.

Go in peace.

Three Blogs!

The trinity.

The three is actually, just the one.

Suddenly I have three blogs. It wasn’t intentional, but somehow they have evolved, and if I am honest with myself, they represent three categories.

Patheya.blogspot – Body orientated news (body)

On being human – What I’m thinking about (mind)

The death of me – My current spiritual/philosophical outlook (spirit)

The topics are interrelated, but sometimes I’m focusing on one aspect of the self above the other. So, if you are a reader of one of these blogs, perhaps its worth knowing about the others, just to have a better overview of what’s happening.

At this moment in time, I’m focused on my spiritual outlook to life, so the patheya.blogspot hasn’t been receiving as much attention as it once did. The thing about life is it seems to go in cycles… so I’m sure my energy will be focused on the body again in time.

I wanted to apologise to anyone who may have expected more articles and news in the patheya blogspot. You are more than welcome to take a peek into the other blogs for a bit of interesting reading.

As always, comments welcome.

That question again!

In an open inquiry I read (the letter has been edited for the sake of clarity) -

“Does God, in any form, exist?

I cannot grasp the idea of a religion.

I cannot even grasp the concept of faith, in any form.

I want to be able to grasp the idea of faith, but find it impossible.

Help clarify faith for me.

I long to understand faith or religion of any type, because knowledge alone seems pretty lonely a thing to have all my life.”


I’ve been contemplating for a few days whether to answer or not.

I’m only going to give another opinion to a person who is already confused. Sometimes, in these cases, less is more.
Finally, I woke up today, and knew I had to contribute. This is what I wrote -


“I’m touched by your concern and honest struggle. Let me ask you some questions for your consideration.

What do you mean by ‘God’? Can you explain what the term ‘god’ is, to you (not what other people say, but what you ‘think’ and ‘feel’, if there was a god)

Religion is not god. Its human’s ‘rules and rituals’ concerning their beliefs about god.

Faith – in what? What do you want to have faith in? What is it you are really seeking?

The only proof of ‘faith’ that you need is your own existence. You are a manifestation, of something. What is that something? Where does it come from? How can we discover it?

The questions – and the answer?

The micro-macro theory helps. It’s a system that suggests we look at the one, so that we can see the all. The laws of nature – at a miniscule level… and thus, the fascination of quantum physics by open minded spiritual seekers.

This is only a little step. But guess what?

Even though the Buddha came up with the eightfold path, you know what he did to become enlightened?

He sat under a tree and said ‘I’ve been searching and searching for the answer. I’m still no closer to the truth. I give up. I’m going to sit here and meditate until I find the answer.’ He gave up searching, and just ‘existed’. And then, bang. “

As always, comments welcome.

Exercise for the mind

Its time to get some balance into the ‘healthy’ equation.

What ‘s the point of having a strong and health body if your mind is a slob?

Readers of this blog believe in holistic health, and yet, we focus on the health of the body, and submit our selves to a life of spending money we don’t have to buy goods we don’t need to impress people we don’t like.*

Does this sound like you? Just think about the last three items you bought. Were they to gain admiration from people you don’t respect anyway? Could you really afford the last luxury item you purchased, or did it chain you further to your bank and to your job?

We are blinding ourselves with the power of our credit cards. It’s a band aid effect to help us cope in a world where we see hypocrisy, lies, uneven wealth distribution, shocking overseas news, fallen family values, deceitful friends and unfaithful lovers.

Just put the brakes on.

Just say stop.

I’ve seen people thrashing it out on the treadmill. I’ve seen people at body pump classes struggling with something more than wanting a tighter back side. And I’ve seen yoga students dealing with a lot more than joint flexibility.

We’re talking a reassessment of our values. We’re talking about prioritizing our time. We’re talking about living our yoga off the mat. We’re talking authenticity for our ‘ideals’. The very things we, in our heart, believe in.

Healthy body
- exercise in moderation (or a little more, not less)
- fresh, healthy food
- fresh air and out door activity
- sunlight in moderation

Healthy mind
- be aware of what you spend your time doing. Is it contributing to the health of your mind, or is it making you more paranoid?
- Be careful not to read beauty magazines – they sell you products that are overpriced and values that in your heart, you can not believe.
- Is the TV repeating fearful stories? Is it telling you to hope for when you win the lottery? Is it telling you that you need to buy more? Turn it off.
- The internet is a wonderful world. What do you spend your time doing? Looking at celebrities? Looking at Hollywood movie reviews selling more superficial values and idealism of romance?
- What do you talk to your friends about? Are you criticizing other friends? Are you being supportive? Dou you dislike your friend because they seem prettier than you?
- What does the voice say inside your head? Is it positive, or complaining?
- Are you always tired and don’t know why?

Then stop the lies. You know what I’m talking about. Stop lying. Stop living a lie. Stop telling yourself lies. Stop telling your children lies.

Don’t take the easy way out. Leave it to someone else to do. They can’t make you a healthy mind. Just like nobody can come and take your yoga class for you. You’ve got to do it yourself.
Balance. Healthy body. Healthy mind.


* Rewritten quote from Affluenza by Clive Hamilton, Richard Denniss (2005)

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Yoga is for new age hippies

Yoga outside of the first circle of the gyre.

This article is related to another post that you can read here.

Yoga is for new age hippies who are self deluded.

Yoga is a cop out for the disillusioned.

I have read these two descriptions of yoga in the past week and I believe it.

After the initial surprise of what I thought of as an attack upon me personally, I weighed the words and began to agree with what is in effect, a description of myself.

I am self deluded and I am disillusioned.

Yoga, for me, has been a way to protect myself from the society I was born into. A society where I was faced with lies, false values, selfishness, contradictions, deceit and told it was ‘just the way things work’.

Somebody the other day, after I asked their advice about how to deal with life as it is, told me to learn the weaknesses of my fellow man (woman and child) and ride it to the top of what ever I wanted for myself.

In otherworlds, manipulate your weaknesses for my benefit.

I have heard this advice more than once. I am usually disappointed and unhappy and go and practice some yoga to feel better.

This time I thought about it.

I came to the conclusion (for the present). I do use yoga as a bandaid for the hurts I feel in life. But, I thought of something else too.

If we just expand the idea of yoga a little further, then we have the ability, all of us, to turn the disillusion into illusion. Not only for ourelves, but for the world.

We are no longer ‘copping out’, but living the values we believe in.

How?

Yoga is about unity.

When we sit in our class, we are talking about unity of breath and movement. We are talking about the unity of mind and body. We can, if advanced, talk about unity with The Big Consciousness Out There Somewhere.

I am not saying this is wrong.

All I’m saying is that we need to expand our idea of unity to incorporate it into our daily life as well.

To live our yoga.

So we are not just using yoga as a way to heal our minds after being faced with consumerism and materialism and self focused values, but as a philosophy of life.

The united nations – The unity of nations. Not about making them all the same, but about finding the ‘common’ among them and discussing issues for all nations.

(let’s not discuss the failings as yet – lets just notice how many groups of people say the believe in yoga (unity), and how they do it, and gain insight and information about how this idea can continue.)

Community – Unity – That’s what we are suppose to belong to. A unity of our commons. Our society is based on the idea of yoga.

If we put our mind to unity – if we find a way to merge our commons, we grow strong.

We are no longer a ‘cop out’ – a disillusioned and deluded individual seeking solace from some eastern philosophy.

We are, instead, a strong voice (and $) behind our values of unity.

And practically, what does that mean?

Intelligent question. It means, in practical sense, put your money where your mouth is.

If you are going to be more than a fad yoga practitioner, then you need to do a little research.

I’ve added some links below for your perusal .

If we want to work together, then you need to talk. You need to leave comments, you need to involve yourself.

And that doesn’t mean you can miss your hatha yoga practice in the morning. The self just has to be involved in putting its philosophy into action in its wider gyre.

Friends of the Earth

Footprints Network

Oxfam International

World Vision - coffee article