The Day My Buddha Burned - Introduction

I've been writing this short novel for several years. This is the first instalment. You're welcome to leave comments.

Here I am writing in my journal on a train in India, 2007

This sacred journey through life hits upon moments of intensity that we know are special, different, as if they’ve been dabbed with a fluorescent marker, to stand out as important. I’ve written down a few.

I do believe we’re here to take another step or two further along the pilgrimage of our soul’s journey. The sacred centers are those moments that stand out high and above the normal every day scenery and represent moments of clarity, of learning, of wisdom, choice, power. They are the sacred centers of our life and sometimes we are so obviously shaken out of the normal, we know we are in vibrant times, though sometimes we only recognise them in the hindsight.

This book is dedicated, with love.

The second part of The Day My Buddha Burned.

Our First Red Tent Meeting 2017

On Friday the 13th 2017, we came together for our first Red Tent gathering.

I'm so glad we started. It's been an enriching and empowering experience. 

I used online resources to help facilitate the meeting: the Red Tent Tool Kit and The Answers You Are Looking For Inside.

I'm writing down these notes as a record of our meeting, to pass on resources and to keep everyone in the loop of information, even if they couldn't come to the first meeting. 

I've ordered the book, The Red Tent, but I haven't read it yet. One of our members already has it on kindle! Yay!

Statements we discussed:

• We are not against men, we are just pro women. (I am not anti British - Gandhi)
• Tea is going to be part of our ritual - bring a thermos? 
• Candles and a short statement is part of our ritual.
• We like the idea of a speaking stick (I will bring the whopper the next time)
• Hyper normalisation 
• Zeitgeist movement
• We'd like to open up the group to a wider age group. 
• After the meeting, we can go for pizza/pasta and let our hair down. Or, alternatively, bring easy tapas to enjoy through the evening. We can decide before the next time. Nothing that further eats into our time. 
• Suggestion: to 'adorn' our bodies in some way, simply if you wish, before the meeting. Something that symbolises honouring ourselves, to ourselves, before meeting with others. 
• "We meet our own needs before we give out time, energy and resources to this work. We encourage other women to do the same because we believe that learning to meet our own needs before supporting others is a vital lesson for many of us. From a place of fullness we have so much more to give."

Things to do in the future

• Bring a photo of an inspirational woman from your own life and introduce her to the group
• Honing in on our MOJO
• Write up advertisements of our partners, as if trying to sell them - in a hope we can see their pros. (suggestion from an absentee) 

Next Meeting: Our Future Career. What do we want and how to get it.  Feel free to bring any resources you have to help structure the meeting. 

After Acceptance Comes the Plan to Regain Health

I've been writing about my failings as a fitness professional and my weight gain and feelings of depression. And that is all part of it, but it's not the only part.

Since the middle of December 2015 I've been taking vitamin d, vitamin b, iron Floridix, spray magnesium and white Kwao Krua.  

I've been sleeping better thanks to my daughter Lydia sleeping better.

I've increased my exercise time. Weight bearing exercises at least three times a week and play ground fun with Lydia a minimum of three times a week too. Plus what ever else I can fit in.

I've dropped the amount of bread and pastries I'm eating and although I'm still sneaking in a few, I go for the small bite and make sure I have a hearty healthy snack for the 6pm rage of hunger that overcomes me. I have also started planning our meals again, and increased fruit in the mornings and vegetables all day.

I started drinking coffee again.

I've started to limit my internet, especially in the evening and the mornings.

I've replaced normal hair dye with henna! This I'm so happy for.

I've begun to feel a lot better over all. I'm feeling good, energetic, started to get my apartment in order. Started my old Flylady routines. Overall, I'm feeling great.

I don't seem to be losing weight, but I'm ok with that for the moment. All I care about is feeling better, more energetic.

Over the next few weeks I'll write in detail about some of the changes I've incorporated and see if it's something you'd like to do too.

Thanks for your support.

I am Not a Yoga Teacher

What a frigging relief.

I don't have to live up to self imposed unattainable standards. I'm my own worst nightmare. 

You know what I always wanted to do? Write. Just write. And that's what I'm going to do. Get back to basics.

I was brought up athletic and I love to play sports, but somehow, with teaching and considering myself a role model, I've lost my love. I've lost what I want to do. I'm just a shell.

I used to be somebody. Then I was nobody. And now, maybe, I can be who I really am - just simply me, no strings attached.

That's my New Year's Intention. To be me. To open my mind to the Light. To let the Light shine through the me. That's it. Awareness. Clarity. Simplicity. Get back to basics. 

First and foremost I'm a mother of a two year old. I'm a stay at home mum. I'm tired of feeling that being a mother is in the way of what I really should be doing. I am what I am. Not more, not less. And I'm telling myself, not you. I'm explaining something very simple to myself. 

It's been painful to lose the person I thought I was. To lose the Somebody part of me. I didn't want to give it up. And I've been so miserable maintaining a façade of Somebody. Underneath there was a deep fear I was Nobody. And that's kept me trapped between fear and struggling to revive the shadow of a used to be. Much worse than a Somebody. Just a used to be. 

And I know this is a struggle going on in my mind. I'd be labelled mad, for sure, if anyone could hear what was going on. 

Anyway, one step at a time. To begin with, I am not a yoga teacher. 

Sitting in Awareness

So, who am I underneath all of the control? (This post is related the the previous one.)

When a student comes to see me for the first time, I always explain that there are two paths to take. The path to self improvement, or the path to awakening from the little self. Nobody wants to wake up. And that takes courage to admit. Nobody really knows what's going to happen to them, and everyone is afraid of words like God and spirit and awakening. 

We're happy to meditate and practice yoga and we're happy to chant a mantra, but when it gets down to it, we feel very uncomfortable about talking about God and our life's purpose. And we should be. It's a huge question and it has the possibility to change your life for ever. 

I was looking at my need to exercise, and my need to control my food intake and I was looking at my lifestyle, and I realised that many of my choices are based in a fear of becoming something I didn't want to be. So I have chosen a lifestyle that I hoped would stop me being close minded, fat, unhealthy, bored by life, ungrateful, dishonest and a slave to the dollar.

Being in Catalonia, I noticed that many Catalans describe themselves in terms of 'nots'. That is they are not like the people of the south and they are not like the French and they are not like the Spanish of the centre. I always thought that was peculiar because I'm from Australia and I didn't grow up comparing myself to another country (at least in the 70's and 80's). 

However I see clearly that I have set up a lifestyle dedicated to nots. And food and fatness is one of them. I'm a vegetarian, not necessarily because I am a healthy person or I love vegetables, but because I don't like people killing animals for food in a factory line up. I hate it. So even my number one restriction about food is about being NOT a meat eater. And it continues through so many of my choices.

What am I going to do?

Well, I've banned the scales for one. I will not step foot on a scale for the rest of the year. I'm going to do a little experiment on myself and discover what I really like. Not what I don't like. 

This is not for ever. Just for the rest of the year. I want to know what I like. When I was much younger I read a book by Banana Yoshimoto, Kitchen. There's a passage in it that I have often thought about. The protagonist was used to eating eggs the way her partner ate eggs, and he called her out on it. She discovered that she didn't know what she liked and didn't like. She was easy going and didn't mind. But that was just the surface. The book is about her journey into discovering how she liked her eggs and so much more. 

Good luck to me!

From Compulsion to Compassion

I'm listening frequently to the audio Mindful and Mindless Eating by Robin Maynard-Dobbs and finding it helpful. You can find it on spotify too. 

She says that listening to her CD offers the possibility to move from 'judgement to just noticing, from automatic to aware, from compulsion to compassion.' 

And that's where I'm at. This movement from the mindless to the mindful.

I have to admit that I have always thought of myself as quite mindful and responsible. I'm surprised to discover this space in my day where I'm just not present. 

Day to day. Let's go. 

Basics of Patheya Yoga

Beginning the Spiritual Journey

 The questions that come up these days is ‘where did this all begin?’, and ‘what was the impulse that has driven you to ‘here’?’

Rage, frustration, impotence, hatred. I guess these were the driving emotions that took me out of the city. I just couldn’t take it any more. I felt the whole world was driven by lies upon lies and it was killing me. It was like I was frying in my own outrage.

I left university to live as a caretaker on a farm in Nagambie.

While I was there I wrote a lot. Asking myself questions, trying to come to some kind of peaceful resolution. Just trying to live.

I don’t know what I thought would happen. All I knew is that I had to get away from people.  I had to have space in my head. I had to have space to breathe.

Then one day, the world changed. It’s when I had what I took to be a revelation. The things of the world really did reveal some sort of underbelly, or inner quality that I had never guessed at before. I saw what seemed to me at the time the deep reality of the situation. The interconnectedness of all beings. The ultimate Oneness of all.

And in that moment, there wasn’t more to do about it. It was only later, when I started thinking again, that I created a story around it.

The experience itself was quite simple and heartbreakingly profound, but the story I created, the meanings I started coming up with were ridiculously complex.

During the last 6 months, I’ve returned to the simplicity of the experience. I’ve dedicated my living to returning to direct experience and allowing it to unfold without interpretation. To let it penetrate my being without labels and without a story.

Its like nothing I imagined. I kept thinking that it has to be a certain way, that I would need to be able to describe it and that I would need to be able to teach it. But its not like that at all. It’s a funny thing, but there is nothing to teach. It’s more of an unteaching. A removal or a returning of some sort that takes place, but there is no need to express in the way I thought there would be. We’ve already got the thing we are seeking. Now how to express that to a society geared towards attaining? That’s the rub.

Of course, that is part of the prologue too, isn’t it? Well, I’m going to discover something in spirituality, and its going to fit a pattern that I’m familiar with in some way. Its going to fit my ideas. And when it doesn’t, its almost impossible to believe or trust.  It really is easy to overlook. The simplicity of Being.

For more information, you can listen to Adyashanti talking about ‘life without a story’ in one of his free audio downloads. Take a look at the Adyashanti link on the sidebar.  He explains everything much better than I can. 

Photo: Canyelles, Tiffany Jones

Canyelles, Tiffany Jones

India, Albert Vila

Cleansing for the New Year

• I accept you exactly as you are. Please forgive me if I wanted you to be something you are not and can not be. I dedicate myself to seeing you as you are, and without judgement from a small mind. 
• I support you as you are in what ever decisions you take. You are not me, and we can not act or think the same. I trust you to do the best you see fit. 
• I have erased 'should be' from my language. Its just another complaint and another display of arrogance. 
• I dedicate time, patience and myself to dwelling with the truth. 
• I understand that suffering helps us see through illusions. We learn from difficult situations. Pain brings us into the present moment like no other emotion. It helps to remind us of what is important. 
• I forgive you. I forgive me. 
• I dedicate thirty minutes every day to moving my body with awareness. We exercise the body to grow older, not to hold onto youth. 
• I always leave five minutes earlier than I need to, so I don't have to push or rush or be impatient at traffic lights.
• I give myself five to fifteen minutes between tasks to breathe, stare out of the window, drink some water, stretch the shoulders and neck and smile.
• I start hand making cards two weeks before they need to be sent off. 
• I pay attention to the rise and fall of emotion, and I choose to dwell with the One that observes the changes. 
• I give smiles without expectation of getting one in return.
• I like to leave notes for loved ones as a surprise.
• I breathe with awareness.
• I pause every time I feel myself moved by beauty. I let it sink into my skin and permeate my face, my heart and my bones. 
• Notice that once my basic needs are met, I can never satisfy my wants. Serving others brings happiness. Serving myself leads to selfishness and dissatisfaction. 
• I notice when pain arises in the body and I listen to what my body is telling me. 
• I live here, now. I let go of old wounds and negative unhelpful talk. I let go of negative patterns of thought that are rooted in past experiences.
• I identify where my anger, frustration and disappointment come from. Usually it comes from the 'I should' or the 'you should'. 
• I will not over water my plants. 
• I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I understand that personal integrity fosters healthy self esteem, and I stay vigilant so I notice when integrity turns into stubbornness. 
• I pause every day to give thanks to the sun. I love the sun.
• How can I let life in? How can I reduce my resistance to life, as it is? Every complaint is resistance. Every internal 'no' is another brick in the wall between me and reality. 

Happy New Year.

A New Beginning - Adyashanti's Invitation

"Its the beginning of a new way of life. Instead of a life lived from the separate ego, from the illusion of the egoic personality identity,  its the beginning of life lived from a conscious recognition of our true nature as spirit. And that's a truly new life. That's a beginning. Its the end of  identification with egoic personality, but its not the end of spirituality as some people think. Its actually the beginning of a new way of life. Its the beginning of the discovery, an ongoing discovery of what's it like, what is it, to recognize that you are spirit appearing as a human being. What is it to begin to live life from that recognition. That is a journey all of on itself. How does one express that recognition?"

Transcript from Adyashanti's audio CD True Meditation.   If you have Spotify.

Itchy Legs While Running - a Solution!

I started running again about 6 weeks ago. Every day I'd start off with a positive attitude and a sporty gait, and after about ten minutes my skin would start itching to the point of madness. I've read some forum stories of women ripping their skin open in an attempt to ease the discomfort.

It turns out that the itchiness is usually caused by the capillaries expanding upon the introduction of blood to the surface of the skin. That is hot blood moving into the cold and contracted surface of the skin. Some people don't notice it at all, and others can have a lot of problems with pain.

I read some of the online advice and decided against an antihistamine 30 minutes before my jog, or just putting up with it. I thought about the problem and decided that if it was a hot and cold problem, if I started jogging when I was already warm, the problem might be avoided.

A Warm/Hot Bath!

So, before I've been jogging, I've taken a hot bath for ten minutes and I then massage my legs and 'scrub' them with ex foliating gloves.   This stimulates the skin and makes the blood flow to the surface. I then don my normal jogging attire and I have had no problem since. Nothing. Nada. No discomfort.

Now its just a matter of lung capacity, and that I am working on.


Photo: Granollers Half Marathon 2009, Tiffany Jones

Just Beneath the Surface

We’ve been on this path together for a long time. Shifting between teacher and student and into the I’m just going to be ‘me’ for the weekend persona.There’s a new book to discuss, there’s a new meditation or a new teacher or a new dream or experience. And it never stops.
In the past few months, I’ve been deeply listening to Eckhart Tolle and more recently to Adyashanti. And their call is to discover the present moment. To discover ‘what is’ rather than what I want or what I think ‘is’. And remarkably or not, its not one and the same thing.
There have been a few triggers in the audios and books I’ve been reading, but the one that brings me to this moment is ‘is it true?’
This question, when gently asked when any thought arises, acts like a laser gun. Everything is dematerialising before my eyes.
But guess what I discovered just beneath the surface.
A snarling, growling, vicious dog.
That is, someone who is slightly irritated with pretty much everything. The surface appears to be calm, I grant you, but just beneath is a raging whirlpool of black fumes. General dissatisfaction. For everything. Yes, I could say, for pretty much everything. And no, I’m not pre-menstrual.
I’m surprised, to say the least. Lift the lid off the pot to discover a boiling concoction that doesn’t look that tempting for dinner.
Hmm.
When I’m doing yoga, qigong, walking, cooking, studying, typing, I am exploring the layers within for resistance. Am I allowing what ‘is’ to be? Or am I insisting on another framework. Delicious. At every moment I am resisting. Deviously. Secretly. Little pockets of secret forces holding up in my top right shoulder or in the side of my neck. Tension building and afraid of annihilation.
So I turn the light up and shine it on. Is it true? Or is it a fabrication for safety? And the smoke shifts, there’s a certain scuttling and moving away, only to gather again, somewhere else, another layer deep into the terrain of me.
A mission of search and discover. Of claiming territory. Of rooting out illusion and seeing just how deep the infestation has gone.
‘Am I really allowing this moment to be?’
‘Is it the truth?’

I love these phrases. I love them because they are what drove me to seek in the first place. With real innocence and true hunger for the Truth. I was sidetracked by mirrors for a while, but I think I’m back on track.

An Invitation to 100 days

Good afternoon everyone.

Today I am encouraging you to join me in doing your chosen activity for 100 days.

The activity can be anything you have been meaning to do/study, but have found it difficult to become motivated.  Today is the first of June. What better time to start?

Personally, I am going to do my sumi-e and my Catalan for 100 days straight. If you get sidetracked and miss a day, then you haven’t got the point of this invitation.

This is to stick to one activity, every day, for 100 days. Something you’ve wanted to do, but don’t, for one reason or another.

This is not the time to put it back on the shelf. Its time to set some time aside, let it be 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour, every day, and ‘do it’.

Write in a journal, every day, for 100 days. What is it that you want to do?

I want to paint. And I will. I also need to learn Catalan, so I shall.

Come join me! 

Yoga Workshop, Espern, Hamar, December 2009 - Part Five

Removing the Layers of Illusion

“we are separate”

Removing conditioning. Removing negative thought patterns, removing limiting beliefs.

We have to be careful now, because we are living in a world where advertisers have understood the mind and how we think. That is, to make money, 'they' study psychology. 

‘because you are worth it’… your kids are worth it – worth what exactly?  Worth what? 

Ask yourself this question. What is your worth? And when did you suddenly start believing you could be bought? ‘Everyone has their price.’ What’s your price?  Where is your treasure? That’s where your heart is. (Top of the cupboard, ‘those shoes’. I never wear them but I love to look at them.They make me feel better when I feel sad.) 

Any time a marketer/advertiser talks to you directly to the heart  through the art of advertising, its because they believe they have tapped into the consciousness of the people. They are selling you solutions to your fears and keys to your desires. They are keeping you hostage to your fears and desires.

Understand what I am saying. You have two buttons. 

Fear and Desire

Everything you do is based on these two things. Think about it. Trace your actions back to the original point.

You didn’t want your mother to be angry at you, you were afraid, so you enrolled in the course.

You wanted to look ‘better’ so you coloured your hair because 'she' looked good like that. 

You were afraid the other kids would laugh, so you lied.

We all do it.

Advertisers are a great enemy of self realisation, because they want you to stay a victim to fear and desire. They need you to feel needy, so that you buy things to fill the hole inside of you, and in thanks, you fill up the hole of their bank accounts with a ton of things you don't really need. If you don't believe me, open a cupboard. Do you need that stuff? Really? How much did it cost and how did it get into your house?  And the next cupboard, and your child's room? How many toys and things do they really use at all?

But advertisers are also our greatest teachers. How often do we respond to advertising because it taps into our fears? I don’t look cool enough, I don’t look rich enough, I don’t have the right coloured sofa, my pet is the wrong accessory for me, by breasts are the wrong size or my penis is too short.  ok then, just notice what advertisers  are tapping, embrace it, accept this fear/desire that you have, but take away the action related. We are just watching, observing.

Fear Desire, Desire Fear.

What if I said that yoga will teach you that you already have everything that you need, right now? How does it make you feel? Happy? Bored? Relieved?

We love the sea-saw of our lives. We must, because we keep living the exact same way all of the time. We get angry, then we get sad, then we are depressed, then we say oh well, and then we accept, then we swing up again, and we’re happy, and then, because she said that, we get a bit resentful again.  Its just a bit circle of events.  We are victims to 'them' and 'out there'.  As long as we are victims, we are not equals, we are not brothers and sisters, we are in a position of weakness and always trying to prove our worth. We can not come together from a position of inferiority of not being good enough. 

It’s a constant change. Impressions, feelings, sensations, emotions. They are constantly changing.

Does this make you afraid? To recognise that life constantly changes? That time really does change your memories and how you feel, and it softens the edges of things past.

Do you wish to hold everything exactly as it is right now? For nothing to change. Have you said that before? ‘I wish everything could stay exactly as it is right now?’   Or ‘I wish things could be the same as they were.’

The mind jumps around all the time. Just watch it. Watch it. Observe its motions. Notice the repetitious behaviour of your mind.

Your mind is a wonderful, amazing and undisciplined chit.

When I talk to you about awareness of the mind, I do not mean mind control, in forcing yourself to believe certain things. I just mean that we would like to shift the relationship we have to the mind.

The One that can see the mind jumping about is what we call the Big Self. The mind that jumps about like a monkey, is the little self. So, we say, instead of the Big Self being lead about by the little  self, lets train the monkey mind to become a powerful ally to the Big Self. So that, we can sleep when we want to, we can concentrate when we want to, we can do what is necessary at anytime we want to, without being a victim to the little self’s demands of ‘I want’ and ‘I need’ and ‘its not fair’ and ‘what about me’isms.

And more, if you suffer negative thoughts, if you suffer depression, if you suffer from your mind’s negative patterns, then yoga is going to be your best friend. And guess what, its not going to cost a euro. Just your time and patience.


Part Four of the Workshop 
Part Six of the Workshop 

Merging Between Worlds

Its here. My spirit has found its home. I have one foot on either side of the door. I don’t know for how long, or when it will change, or if I can do this again tomorrow –

But I do know that its here. All of the little hints, the glimpses, the peek show’s into the possibilities of what is around the corner have lead to this moment.

I have waited so long for this. When the inner world gains the upper hand over the outer. When I can feel and trust the inner as more important and more vivid and real than the illusion of the outer. I have known it, I have read about it, I have talked about it – but I have never felt it like this.

Today, as I was walking down the street looking at the concrete, the cigarette butts, the lined faces of the people, it disappeared and I felt the warm glow from within, and my vision changed. Keeping my eyes low, I could feel, on a cellular level, the joy emanating from me and all around me. The animating force of the universe literally jumping for joy in creation.

Everything is permeated with this ‘stuff’ called chi, or energy, or prana. Its movement is known to many. I’ve seen it at times, I’ve felt it at times, but nothing like today.

In a blink of an eye I was moving between two worlds. The concrete as drab, the concrete as bliss. It was just the outer coating, like the autumn jackets on the people. Nothing more. The sad faces, the defeated bodies, its just a coating for the most miraculous creation.

So, I picked up my son from school and I made lunch, and I took him back to school again, and I did my afternoon meditation and

Wham! The spirit of my body crept in and took full possession. I’ve never felt it before. Every cell glowing. The power, the glow, the life. And gratitude! The thanks for letting us use the flesh, for seeing with the eyes, for eating, for looking and learning, the gratitude is immense.

And back again. With the constant weight within my chest – the reminder of the pulse of the universe within each of us. Look with the eyes of love. It reminds me that one of the first gifts that Tara gave me last year was pink open roses for the eyes. Look with the eyes of love.

New Gifts

Today while I was in meditation with a student, I saw her animal guide. A mouse. The mouse, as soon as I recognised it, turned towards the sun.

The mouse and the lion story came upon me.

Its the second time I have received another's image in the last week. They are indicators into the other's potential given their current energy system.

My first memory

I was five. It was in a hall way. I heard something, I was curious, I walked towards the noise and I saw my father on top of my mother. He was holding her down. My mother was struggling. She was wild. Fighting.

I stopped dead still. My father, while still holding her, said to me 'look, I'm holding her down for her own good. She's trying to hurt me.' He seemed calm. She was violent and crazy in her motion. Her hair a big brown fuzz of movement.

My dearest parents.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I forgive you for hurting me. I know how hard it is. I forgive you, whole heartedly. I release this memory. I release this hurt, once and for all, and I embrace you both in love. Thank you for being my teachers in this great journey. Thank you for offering yourself to teach me.

With love, forgiveness for myself and my brothers and sisters, and compassion for your own journey,

Tiffany

Catalonia/Tiffany

I just wrote this for the Catalonia blog – but actually, I was writing two pieces at once.

First Half

Catalonia has not yet come into her own. She is blooming after the repression of the Franco years and the introduction of Spain into the European community, but she is still shaking off the hold of Spanish rule and bucking at the new people coming to live amongst her people.

There is insistence of speaking the Catalan language, of waving the Catalan flag, of protecting the Catalan culture, and yet, it seems, she is reacting against her past and not resonating with the prosperity of her present.

When we were travelling to and from Australia, people asked Albert where he was from. He would say ‘Spain.’ They would say, ‘Madrid?’ He would say ‘No, Barcelona.’ There would be a great smile and warmth and the word ‘Catalonia?’ and, no matter how many times we had this conversation, we would be amazed that people knew the difference.

Obviously, the soccer team, Barce has helped sell the awareness of Catalonia to soccer watching nations. However, Barcelona as a city, has become a by word in cultural cool. Its sexy, its charming, its hot, it has everything a traveller is looking for. The Costa Brava is near by, the Pyrenees is over the hill, and the food is to die for.

So, the world knows about you. They know you exist. They know you are not the same as Spain. They see you as a most beautiful, charming and wonderful place. With something unique to offer the world.

Now its time for you, Catalonia, to accept your position as a jewel in the crown of the world.

Second Half

Tiffany has not yet come into her own. She’s blooming after the repression of ideas of how things should be, and responding well to the world travelling, but she is still shaking off the hold of her Early Years of Protection and bucking at the new role she is being given.

There is insistence on following old Tiffany paths, of waving the Me flag, of protecting the Tiffany entity, and yet, it seems, she is reacting against her past and not resonating with the prosperity of her present.

In the previous years of her life, people have responded positively to her. They have loved her, called her ‘angel’, ‘blessing’, ‘precious’ and ‘dear’. And she looked behind her, to see who they were talking to. There was no response in her heart that resonated from the gift of the other’s love.

So, the world knows about you. They know you exist. They know you are not the same as you were. They see you as hopeful, happy, and helpful. With something unique to offer the world.

Now its time for you, Tiffany, to accept your position.

To accept the ‘I am.’ To feel it resonate within. To allow it to be.

Full forgiveness.

Full love.

Full acceptance.

Full awareness.

Fully united.

The Book of Inanna

Words written by the woman who weaved the story from the ancients -

‘I was drawn to the story of the woman who gave away, at seven successive gates, all she had accomplished in life until she was stripped naked, with nothing remaining but her will to be reborn.’ p.xvi

‘the word for ear and wisdom in Sumerian are the same.’ p.xii

‘as Kramer spoke, a shiver ran through me. When taken literally, the text itself announces the story’s direction: From the Great Above the goddess opened (set) her ear, her receptor for wisdom, to the Great Below.’ p.xvii

‘During the first year, I dreamed of being in a enormous meadow and having the task of cleaning the meadow – blade by blade.’ p.xviii

Inanna Queen of Heaven and Earth – Diane Wolkstein an Samuel Noah Kramer (New York, 1983) Harper and Row

Montserrat - the book

Yesterday I was in Barcelona for the first time in a month. There is a book fair this week. As I was walking past the books, I came across one that had 'Montserrat' emblazoned across the front cover.

The book is written by Jacinto Verbaguer. It was first published in 1890, as far as I can make out. Mine is not a first edition, though the book is well worn and falling to pieces. It cost 10 Euros.

I will need help in translating it, as its written in Catalan.

Inside, it says 'Llegendari, cancons, odes'. The front cover has the mountain of Montserrat, a cross, the virgin with a crown and child, men praying to her.

The picture I found on the internet is small. Sorry for that.

With Love