One Woman's Philosophy and Consequent Journey

Embody the Mystery

Another day and I throw out the question again. 'What am I suppose to do?' If i feel these things, if I see Life behind the surface, if I know that so much of it is just a playground, what am I to do?
The answer has only ever been energetic. That is, I feel it within my body. I feel an extra charge of Life course through my insides and I interpret it as 'be a channel for Grace' - words taken from Caroline Myss.
Today was something different. A great light pierced my forehead. The word 'embody' pulsated in my mind. Embody what? I ask, still wanting everything spelt out.

'Embody Life.'

'Embody the Mystery.'

'Embody God.'

'Embody the Tao.'

But more simply, just 'embody'.

Its very personal. I embody 'It' my way. There is no law, there is no script, there is only what is. 'The You and Me becoming We.'

My way is through the body. Through the awareness of prana/chi/qi in the body. Using Hatha Yoga and Qigong to enhance awareness of the awakening of the Life Force within us all. So be it.

At the same moment, I discovered the beautiful video below of Seane Corn. She is living her Yoga as it was originally taught. Thank you for the inspiration.

A Must Watch - The Two Sides of the Brain

And for more about Jill Taylor

Inspiration

While using the systems of the mind to view the word, we can only understand what we know. We can only build upon that which already is.

Seekers, seers, poets, wonderers, artists of all kinds have the capacity sometimes, to breach the systems of the mind. And we call that inspiration.

Inspiration is to be infused with the Spirit.

And what is inspired is not of the mind and can not be labelled as such. It is of a wider breadth than the mind can sustain.

Inspiration.

New Gifts

Today while I was in meditation with a student, I saw her animal guide. A mouse. The mouse, as soon as I recognised it, turned towards the sun.

The mouse and the lion story came upon me.

Its the second time I have received another's image in the last week. They are indicators into the other's potential given their current energy system.

My first memory

I was five. It was in a hall way. I heard something, I was curious, I walked towards the noise and I saw my father on top of my mother. He was holding her down. My mother was struggling. She was wild. Fighting.

I stopped dead still. My father, while still holding her, said to me 'look, I'm holding her down for her own good. She's trying to hurt me.' He seemed calm. She was violent and crazy in her motion. Her hair a big brown fuzz of movement.

My dearest parents.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I forgive you for hurting me. I know how hard it is. I forgive you, whole heartedly. I release this memory. I release this hurt, once and for all, and I embrace you both in love. Thank you for being my teachers in this great journey. Thank you for offering yourself to teach me.

With love, forgiveness for myself and my brothers and sisters, and compassion for your own journey,

Tiffany

The Moon and its Secrets

The moon is bright before us. Before we had electricity, the moon lit the world at night. But only sometimes. She showed her full face, or just the profile as she turned away.

And yet, the moon is constantly orbiting the earth. His disappearance is an illusion. An illusion created by how much light he can catch upon his face.

The emotions change. The world around us changes. But we endure. We are still there. It looks like it is changing, but it is not. The light has long been a symbol of knowledge and enlightenment. We feel secure in our knowledge at times, and then, fall, as the light leaves us.

But still, we endure.

The constancy of the moon is not often sung – but I wish to remind us, that although she appears to leave us, she is always there. Her constancy is like a weight inside of me, grounding me to the energetic body. I feel my heart and mind coming together in understanding and acceptance.

It is the right key for me to move another step along the road.

The moon gives me acceptance of change.

It allows me to shake off the guilt of moods.

It is constant, like the pulse of the universe in my blood cells.

I accept the moon into my heart, with a smile.

I have looked upon its face with wonder at its ever changing beauty.

Change is all around us. There is nothing that sits still and is set.

Except us. We label, we name, we describe, we make a belief around the very nature of life, and then we discuss it to make sure we know what we are talking about and others also know, and if they do not, then we will teach them, the ‘right’ way. And the moon keeps changing her face. The earth keeps turning, the wind keeps blowing, the leaves keep falling, the rains keep falling, the rivers keep flowing, the birds keep singing.

Look at this link, page 25, of the chapter ‘moony’ by D. H. Lawrence.

Desperate we are, vicious in our need to assert the ‘I’. All we can do is break. And yes, when we break, the person we thought we were disappears, and someone else remains in their place.

The moon, when I feel it, is not male or female to me. So perhaps I will shift its gender depending on the context.

The Book of Inanna

Words written by the woman who weaved the story from the ancients -

‘I was drawn to the story of the woman who gave away, at seven successive gates, all she had accomplished in life until she was stripped naked, with nothing remaining but her will to be reborn.’ p.xvi

‘the word for ear and wisdom in Sumerian are the same.’ p.xii

‘as Kramer spoke, a shiver ran through me. When taken literally, the text itself announces the story’s direction: From the Great Above the goddess opened (set) her ear, her receptor for wisdom, to the Great Below.’ p.xvii

‘During the first year, I dreamed of being in a enormous meadow and having the task of cleaning the meadow – blade by blade.’ p.xviii

Inanna Queen of Heaven and Earth – Diane Wolkstein an Samuel Noah Kramer (New York, 1983) Harper and Row

Inanna - the story links

Last year, in 2008, we were travelling in Australia. We stopped by a book store in Kuranda. It was a women's initiative. We couldn't buy many books because we were travelling lightly. I only bought what I had a feeling for.

I bought this book,

Inanna. Queen of Heaven and Earth. I didn't know why at the time. I wasn't particularly interested in her, actually, I'd never heard of her before. But, something about the carving kept pulling me back. I was sure I had to buy it. I did. Its been sitting in the book shelf since we arrived here.

Today, Albert cleaned up the books lying around. We are still settling in with the furniture. Going slowly. I resorted the books, and Inanna stood before me in all sincerity. Now I have two books beside my computer. Montserrat and Inanna.

Inanna's father is the moon god, Sin/Nanna. (There are many spellings of his name that are so close to Amma, by the way, its impossible to overlook.) And as I was looking for images, I found this one, already made up.  It was as though it was a message, a gift, a treasure.

And look at this - from Judith Shaw

Also, this is a long post on Venus, Inanna's star.

One more for when you have time - Emergence of Civilization and Fall into Patriarchal Dominion

With Love

Surrender into Space

Last night was the new moon. I’ve been reading Ordinary Sparrow’s words, and then I listened to Caroline Myss on her new book on Defying Gravity.

This morning I woke up with an image of the earth floating in space. And the conviction that the self, in its search for ‘trust’ and ‘surrender’ and being ‘One’ needs the same, it is the same, Trust and Being that the earth has in its ‘hanging in space’.

Pause to think about that for just a moment. The rest of what I write is mere repetition.

If we look at the picture, if we contemplate the strangeness, the impossibility of it – the rational mind expands to a point of confusion and shuts down. This is the point. We can’t understand the hows and whys – but the fact remains, IT IS.

It is.

The earth hangs in space and this weird suspension, with all its miracles and queerness and mystery, this ultimate existence is the same incomprehensible, irrational Trust that we must surrender to to reach the place we need to go.

The leap of faith. The free fall. The Knowing that is of the blood. The seeing that is of the Third Eye. The Pulse of the Earth is our own pulse.

‘We are the world.’ We are the Earth. There are studies comparing the human body to the earth and its physical relationship or connection. However, its psyche? The Earth with its pollution (that humans create), is it not our negativity blocking our energy system? The increased instability in weather is our own personal lack of grounding or imbalance. The weather is of the air – air is the element of the mind. They are all symbols and symptoms of our very personal struggle.

I think again of Dr Len. Heal thyself. Heal the world.

With Love

From Light to Darkness - The Tao Within

By all accounts, I was a happy sunny child.

Life shone upon me, and I grew into a hard blend of Artemis and Athena. Withholding and defending my light with arrows of judgement and eternal virginity. Hunting for more of my kind. People to believe in what I had become.

When I questioned my coldness, the light grew stronger and stronger and shattered my image until the all became One and one became All.

Then the Darkness arose, for I had returned home to claim my sorrow, my guilt, my incomprehension, my fears and offer my love and forgiveness to myself and all.

The Darkness was so deep into my blood, it began to turn into Light. The light and the darkness merged and I saw that it was the same, but different.

The Golden Tao.

The threads of my new life begin to create the new form for this phase. Its delicate shape arises little by little with threads of gold from the extraordinary of the ordinary.

With Love and thanks for all that has been, and for all that has yet to come.

The Eye of Ra

What's your experience with this symbol?

Wage Peace

Wage Peace
by Judyth Hill, September 11, 2001

Wage Peace with your breath.

Breathe in firemen and rubble

Breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red-wing blackbirds.

Breathe in terrorists

Breathe out sleeping children and fresh mown fields.

Breathe in confusion and breathe out maple trees.

Breathe in the fallen and breathe out life long relationships intact.

Wage peace with our listening: hearing sirens, pray loud.

Remember your tools: flower seeds, clothing pins, clean rivers.

Make soup.

Play music; learn the word "thank you" in 3 languages.

Learn to knit: make a hat.

Think of chaos as dancing raspberries.

Imagine grief as the outbreak of beauty or gesture of fish.

Swim for the other side.

Wage peace.

Never has the word seemed so fresh and precious.

Have a cup of tea and rejoice.

Act as if armistice has already arrived.

Celebrate today.

(Thanks for posting this OS - its just what I need)

Catchin' the Vibe

I do online energy readings.

I know, sounds crazy – don’t think I don’t know it, but the internet is full of crazies like me.

So, what is it? Honestly, I don’t know really. It started like this –

In 1996, I started to do qigong healing, and I added crystals to the mix. Qigong healing is like reiki, or laying on of hands – but its called qigong. There are schools that teach remote qigong healing. That is, to ‘heal’ or send positive energy towards someone who is not in the same room. Please don’t ask me the theory behind it. Its only theory, and as Ms Myss says, sometimes we have to go beyond reason for these things.

One day, a girl said to me ‘I have a stomach ache, while I do the abdominal breathing today.’ I asked her to lay down on the floor and I passed my hands through her energy body and suddenly information was in my head.

‘You’ve got your period.’ She said that was true. Then I told her the ‘rules’ for menstruation and qigong.

How did I know? I don’t know. The information was just ‘there’, very clear.

‘Incidents’ of reading people while doing healing sessions and with my students increased and then I accepted it without trying to enhance the information or skills. Most time I don’t tell people what I see, I just talk ‘around’ the topic. People don’t believe in these things, so not only do I have to deal with ill health, but also a belief system. Its difficult.

In 2007 things picked up again. I went through an internal growth spurt and started picking up strong vibrations from ‘place’ as well as people. It feels like there is information of the history in each place I go to. Some places have more energy information – or its easier for me to pick it up, than others. I don’t know why- again, there is a lot of theory, depending on who/what you believe in.

Last year all of my chakras started to work. Before that, I was only in connection with the top five. Since then, my ability to pick up ‘energy’ has increased to a point when you start to question ‘why’ do I know this? What’s the purpose? What can it do for me or anyone? Also, it just makes me look more crazy to everyone else.

Funny thing is, since we’ve all been able to connect on the internet, I don’t seem so crazy anymore. There are lots of people who can do this, who have developed skills and feel uncomfortable with them, and its creating a lot of increased confusion for many of us.

Last year I started consciously practicing reading people’s energy system. Only people who ask me to. Or my students, who are under my care in a way. Sometimes it happens anyway.

One time in January 2009 a man walked into a restaurant. Suddenly I started getting visions of him in pain and I turned my head away. I heard a voice in my head saying ‘you’ll regret that’. I said ‘what am I suppose to do then?’ and, without a doubt, it was ‘tell him.’

Do you know how crazy it feels? Can you imagine? I sit there, and strange visions and vibrations enter my body – then, a voice says, tell that man what you saw. I mean, its one thing to feel crazy in the self – but its quite another to have to tell someone else that you are crazy because you can see that he may suffer a heart attack tomorrow if he exerts himself.

What do you do? You have to make a choice. Be sane to humans, or follow the inner calling. What is the inner calling? I tell you what – if there is God – then to me, it sounds and feels the closest I have ever been to it. So – it comes down to humans or God. What are you going to choose?

I write my message down on a paper. I feel my face burning and I feel totally humiliated and I hand them the message with apologies for every social rule I am breaching.

Do you know what? The couple came over to my table (we were in a restaurant), and thanked me. I didn’t suffer anything except what was in my mind.

Something is happening here in on this planet. I don’t know what or why. Really. I don’t have a direct telephone to the head office. Again, there are a lot of theories. But I’ve given them up. I just do what I have to do. And that is, tune my chakra system. Make sure its clean. The cleaner I am, the more I feel the flow of energy through my system and the more I can see and help others.

So, if you think I’m crazy, but would like to try – send me an e mail, tell me what’s going on – and if you want me to, this is absolutely voluntary – I’ll check in with you.

What happens to you when I do this? As far as I’ve heard from others – nothing.

What do I do? I relax, concentrate on you, and then I usually start to feel how your body feels in an energetic way.

Do I hear your thoughts? No. Not like that. What I pick up is your energy. Where it flows and where it stops. I don’t know your secrets or thoughts.

Why get a reading? Sometimes we feel like we don’t know what is going on in our life. A reading from a person who doesn’t know you intimately, can help give you structure, or something to help focus on to move forward.

How do I know it works? I have a link to the online readings. If you want it, I will send it to you so you can see what the other people said.

Questions?

I wrote this today because a friend of mine has been talking about some of their problems, and I felt, strongly, the urge to ‘enter’ her system and see what the blockages were. But I think this is very personal. Its not for everyone. And I don’t like to do this to people if they don’t ask me. It doesn’t feel kosher. If it sounds interesting – send me an e mail.

How much does it cost? Nothing – its free as long as I have the time.

Who is it for? For anyone who thinks they need some direction. Honestly, I don't ask other people to read my energy for me. I don't consciously allow any one else into my energy field. I am very particular who massage's me or who touches me. I think its important, for me. You have to decide for yourself.

Anyway -

Namaste

Bread of Life, Wine of Wisdom

Bread of Life

Wine of Wisdom

I put the bread into my mouth and

Saw the golden heads of wheat sway.

And She said ‘It is my body.’

I felt the old traitor rise his head around

My leg and say ‘I’m not worthy of thisss.’

She smiled and showed me the digestion

Process. Chewing, the body consuming,

Leaving the waste behind.

The seeds being replanted, into the waste.

The growth is dependent upon the waste

Of the past – without doubt.

Do not be fooled, She said, tucking the hair

Behind my ear.

You consume me – present, past, future -

Entwined.

You are eating the past, right now,

For your future. Your waste will prepare

The ground for your future. Without doubt.

I can not-

Shhh. All in good time. One step. One step.

I look up – and the wine?

Her smile, so gentle.

Is there anything more obvious? Have you

Burst a ripened black grape between your fingers?

Have you seen the skin stretch and burst

And let the liquid touch your fingers?

Have you seen?

I am mesmerised by your beauty. I can barely breathe.

Ruby red – like freshly drawn blood.

Blood is your life force incarnate in physical form.

The wine is mine – drink – feel Me enter your blood.

A half sip is all you’ll need. I am the wine of wisdom.

Drink of me – fill your self with Me. One we are.

On Arrival (part II)

On Arrival

Part II

I return to the self

And again try to form

Something.

The white washed smooth walls

Find me sliding to the floor.

What then, my Love,

Is this it?

What I’ve been waiting for?

The moment of Unity?

Did I have to lose so much?

So little?

To gain this trembling

Delicate balance of

Neither here, nor there -

An in between place.

Only music seems

To pour from the throbbings

Of the body made vibrant

With the Pulse of You.

The water is surging

Upon the walls of the dam.

My little structures

Pitiful before your effluence.

Crumpled me, on the floor.

The walls deny me.

Floundering here,

In the death throes.

Do I dare, do I dare

To say, to You, I do?

To surrender, to release,

To give in, to swoon

Into Your embrace.

Thick in the air,

Ambrosia.

I do, my Love.

I do.

The Planets In a Spin

I read 'energetically, this period between the Solar Eclipse on July 21 and the Lunar Eclipse on August 5 feels like we're in the lobby, bags in hand, waiting for our hotel room to be ready' and it was like 'pop!' in my head.

Things have gone haywire lately. The world has turned upside down. I have suddenly the most free time on my hands in about three years, and all of the projects I have been waiting to do - are still not being done.

I feel exactly like I'm standing in the lobby, my bags in hand. Just about to, but not...

I felt some of the tension drain out of my body though, because well, if its the stars and their spinning - what to do about it?

Accept, breathe, enjoy, relax, surrender. It's all ok. Thank you Pam.

(and thank you to Kristen for sending Pam my way.)

(ps - yes, I do know that the moon is not a planet or a star - but is such a great picture!)

Only From the Heart

Salvation

There is no salvation for the soul
But to fall in Love.
It has to creep and crawl
Among the Lovers first.

Only Lovers can escape
From these two worlds.
This was written in creation.

Only from the Heart
Can you reach the sky.
The rose of Glory
Can only be raised in the Heart.

~ Rumi

(thanks to OS for the evocative picture)

Only Breath

Only Breath

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim,
not Hindu, Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion or cultural system.

I am not from the East or the West,
not out of the ocean
or up from the ground,
not natural or etheral,
not composed of elements at all.

I do not exist,
am not an entity in this world
or the next,
did not decend from Adam or Eve
or any origin story.

My place is placeless,
a trace of the traceless.

Neither body or soul.

I belong to the beloved,
have seen the two worlds as one
and that one call to and know,
first, last, outer, inner,
only that breath breathing human being.

The Essential Rumi

(Coleman Barks)

Become All Surrender

Happy the one who has become like us;
who has become all surrender and contentment;
Who has become the pledge of love and madness;
who has become a jewel in the sea of purity.

Rumi