Videos about Being Human

I just started doing videos again. They're off the cuff and with no editing.If that's your thing go take a look.
One about why we should forgive, or 'what's in it for me'?
And the first one, 'Let's start talking'.

I started vlogging (cringe) because I just don't have the time to write like I used to! This is an easy way to get what I want said out there.

Releasing Pain From The Past

After Dreamland 
So this morning I woke in pain. Piercing pain over the right eye and up into the head, my right shoulder had an inflamed pressure point and my tonsils were sore.
Then I immediately remembered that I had a sore throat and tonsillitis frequently when I was a child and that reminded me about chakras and I put on a 5th throat chakra necklace to help balance out the energetics. 

Yoga Therapist 
A friend of mine wrote to me the other day about some personal issues she was dealing with, and in meditation she heard 'Physician Heal Thyself', and I hear her telling me the same thing. 

I'm sure some of you know, but for those who don't, I'm a yoga therapist. That means I use what I have learnt from yoga (and other disciplines) to help people heal in body and mind. If I had to treat myself, as I do right now, then the first and easiest point to start is with childhood memories, chakras, asana practice and affirmations. Then I usually see how we go from there. I've also started practising tapping, and have found it really helpful. Since Lydia's birth I've also dappled in Homeopathy with the help of Kate and Janet, and this is a totally new world to explore. 

A student/friend of mine suggested I start offering these types of consultations via skype, so perhaps in the next few months we'll get that up and started. 

Why Pain? 
In some painful moments like these, I wonder why on earth I'm digging through heaps of old rubbish just to feel rotten again. I mean, what's the point?

And the truth is, I feel it's my duty. As a person who has chosen to try to be as conscious about her life and life choices as possible, it's my responsibility to clear away as much debris from my life as I can. In clearing my debris, I help clear my personal patterns, my families patterns, and the patterns of the world. In my small way, I am changing the possibilities for our future. And because of that, I must go through these clearings. 

Acceptance is Key
The pain is a release. I have been sitting on fear and repression for many years. It has never been allowed to be expressed. And now, in the safety of my adult arms, it can release itself. All of the pent up emotion, all of the fear, all of the struggle jumping out of the recesses of my memory and my cell tissue like the horrors of Pandora's box. But you know what, once they are released, I've still got something left. Hope. This magical word, ready to to inflame creativity, passion and life itself. 

So yes, sometimes it really does get a bit worse before it gets better. But keep your eye on the goal. It is a process. And right now its painful. Sit with it. Honour it. Give it space to be allowed to exist with no judgement. Breathe deeply. Be gentle and kind to yourself. We can do this. 

Photo Credits Tiffany Jones

Merging Between Worlds

Its here. My spirit has found its home. I have one foot on either side of the door. I don’t know for how long, or when it will change, or if I can do this again tomorrow –

But I do know that its here. All of the little hints, the glimpses, the peek show’s into the possibilities of what is around the corner have lead to this moment.

I have waited so long for this. When the inner world gains the upper hand over the outer. When I can feel and trust the inner as more important and more vivid and real than the illusion of the outer. I have known it, I have read about it, I have talked about it – but I have never felt it like this.

Today, as I was walking down the street looking at the concrete, the cigarette butts, the lined faces of the people, it disappeared and I felt the warm glow from within, and my vision changed. Keeping my eyes low, I could feel, on a cellular level, the joy emanating from me and all around me. The animating force of the universe literally jumping for joy in creation.

Everything is permeated with this ‘stuff’ called chi, or energy, or prana. Its movement is known to many. I’ve seen it at times, I’ve felt it at times, but nothing like today.

In a blink of an eye I was moving between two worlds. The concrete as drab, the concrete as bliss. It was just the outer coating, like the autumn jackets on the people. Nothing more. The sad faces, the defeated bodies, its just a coating for the most miraculous creation.

So, I picked up my son from school and I made lunch, and I took him back to school again, and I did my afternoon meditation and

Wham! The spirit of my body crept in and took full possession. I’ve never felt it before. Every cell glowing. The power, the glow, the life. And gratitude! The thanks for letting us use the flesh, for seeing with the eyes, for eating, for looking and learning, the gratitude is immense.

And back again. With the constant weight within my chest – the reminder of the pulse of the universe within each of us. Look with the eyes of love. It reminds me that one of the first gifts that Tara gave me last year was pink open roses for the eyes. Look with the eyes of love.

New Gifts

Today while I was in meditation with a student, I saw her animal guide. A mouse. The mouse, as soon as I recognised it, turned towards the sun.

The mouse and the lion story came upon me.

Its the second time I have received another's image in the last week. They are indicators into the other's potential given their current energy system.

But I Don't Love

Each step I take I see that I am checked.

I say ‘drown me in your Love’

But I do not love.

I hold back in fear of not getting my bit.

I say ‘forgive me! Forgive me my darkened heart’

But truly, I’m not so sure I forgive.

I see the shadows of remembered slights.

I say ‘wash away my mind of arrows’

But I carry the quiver behind me.

Bitterness twists my upper lip.

And You say –

My Love. Lift your head.

Its one thing to give your Heart,

And another to act upon your giving.

One step at a time.

Let me wash you with My Bliss.

Let me shower you in My Love.

And, one step at a time,

You will clear the construction of your mind.

You will see through the eyes of your heart.

You will see without more willing, you are

Already Drowned, Forgiven and Washed.

Be still. Be with me. Feel the Pulse of Love.

On Arrival (part III)

On Arrival

(Part III)

And yet part of me weeps

For the little losses.

The ideas of what should be.

The boxes with people inside.

Part of me feels afraid

To live this life without walls

This freedom seems to send

Me mad with Expanse.

Part of me scoffs

My little fears,

But mostly my fears

Are me.

Take me, so I can Be.

Break me, so I can Be.

Push me, so I do not stand.

Suffocate me, so I do not breathe.

Hurt me, so I do not Hurt.

Crush me, so I can not see.

Fill Me, so there is no me.

Erase me, so there can be Me.

Silence. Love.

The Pulse of Beauty.

Be as Still as the Lake

Guides

I have recently begun doing meditation with my guides and learning to contact them – and I feel that they are not ‘mine’ at all – but everyone’s…

The most powerful impression I’ve had so far was after visiting a temple of meditation – and a man came to me – he seemed from India – but not – and it was before the Vedic stage – hence my new interest in pre Vedic religion – and he was kind and warm eyed – and I don’t know his name.
I asked for advice – and he showed me a lake. He said thoughts were like ripplets upon the lake – and my aim was to have the lake as still as can be.

Now I have heard this advice, even read it many times before. Possibly I’ve even used the metaphor myself, however, it was nothing like seeing it like this.

I understood it within my body. I saw the thoughts rise up, I saw that I could not see clearly if I was up set, or ruled by emotion, or thinking at all – as soon as my thinking suspends, then I am still, calm – and a mirror for what is – and from there – there is the ability to see clearly, to be a clean channel for divine light – and what ever else is in store for us on the other side.

But until I am a still lake – …

That’s my aim at the moment – to be. To be one – with no disturbance… As soon as I begin this ‘aim’ – I notice the effect everything has upon me… The coffee races my heart – the television hurts my head – negativity from people around me pound my walls – and then I see why there are so many restrictions around meditation.

They are in effect guidelines, helping tools – but we make them ‘rules’ to die for.
The purpose is stillness – at this stage – and how you get there is your business. Its not for others to insist any way. You need to feel it for yourself. Or go to a sensitive teacher who can help you sincerely.

The other things I had a little tantrum about – while I was meeting with a group of guides – was that sometimes I feel like I don’t have proof. I don’t feel sure of myself. Nothing is manifest – and I felt a little rebuke…

They reminded me of another moment in time – when I was in deep despair – and I asked please, please let me know I’m not crazy – help me to feel you somewhere or see you…. And the answer was a ‘squeeze’ around my heart. It squeezed until I was quite sure – since then I’ve been able to feel my heart at all times. I can feel its beat all the time – as a reminder of my existence and connection to the pulsating energy of the universe.

So – they reminded me of this experience – and if one can blush in the spirit world, then I did – then they reminded me of how sensitive my body was – how I could feel a myriad of movements – and how, with meditation and training – I would be able to feel and live the energy lines of the body and help them to function. I just had to study and be patient and the skills would reveal themselves. So then…

Be as still as a lake…

Chew your food girl!

Entering into a new state of awareness, every day – is funny, challenging and odd. In Entering the Castle, Caroline Myss poses the question ‘what are you willing to change in your life? If God comes knocking, do you shut the door because you’re happy as you are and are afraid of the changes that may occur?’
Of course, being an eager beaver, my mind went into hysterical affirmations that I’d do anything… just ANYTHING that comes to me. Those anythings could be donating what little money I had to a charity, could be giving up a weekend for ‘cleaning’ or helping somewhere…

But what if your inner guidance just says ‘chew your food?’

It wasn’t quite what I was expecting…

So, there I am, eating my toast. I was walking with my food into the dining room and chewing and swallowing and I felt the little lump in my throat as I swallowed - and actually, it hurts sometimes, but I don’t listen – and today, I listened…

Take smaller bites and chew it.

So I took a half sized bite, chewed it, and still it hurt to swallow.

I took a smaller bite again, chewed it, and slowly, without having to have the awkward ‘swallow’ I usually contend with, it just kind of slide down my throat without a complaint.

‘Really?’ I thought to myself, ‘I have to eat such small bits, and chew so much?’

Suddenly there was a gentle smile and the words ‘it gives you time to appreciate the food, appreciate where the food comes from, give thanks with each mouthful. A lot of work has gone into each piece of food you mindlessly consume. Go slow, be thankful.’So – now I have a different lump in my throat – and go slow I will.

My Daily Practice

My priority for now

All of my studies and practices at the moment are involved in attuning my self to opening up communication to the world that is.

That is, I’m working on listening. Listening to the people around me, listening to the noises from the trees and wind, listening to the pitch of voice, listening to my heart beat, listening to myself.

I’m pausing to feel the swells and tightening of the chakra system in action. I’m noticing when my heart starts to race, when my third eye starts to throb, when my solar plexus pains. I’m learning how my body is telling me something… either my own fears, or information about others, or guidance on how to deal with a situation.

I’m cleaning the debris out of my mind and body. I’m letting the mask of the afraid Tiffany slip – and in its place, I’m letting the soft skin of the inner me make her acquaintance with the world.
I’m looking at my fears, I’m shaking of my jealousies, my anger, my shadow. I’m looking at my arrogance and inability to live the life I say I want to.

Vulnerable I feel. Sensitive I feel. Alive I feel – real I feel. Awake I feel. Hope I breathe. Freedom I see.

All my love

Bringing back the power of the talisman

Its funny, how we’ve been fighting to bring ration into the world – fighting the backward thinking of the past – and now the self is so superficial, we have to dig up the old traditions to bring some meaning back to our heartless state.

My son is sensitive. He’s fearful and susceptible to negative suggestion.

We were walking around a market today – and he saw a bracelet that he liked. It was made of wood – and quite bulky for his little wrist. He wanted to buy it.

Before I could think (often a good thing in my experience) I explained that because the bracelet was made of wood – it would act as a protective tree force for him. That it would help him to feel safe and connected to the earth – that it would give him strong roots, like a tree. If he wore it…

He wanted it. We bough it – and as he put it on, and waved his hand – his eyes lit up – ‘mum- I felt an explosion! I waved my hand and just here (at his heart area) I heard an explosion.’ His eyes were shining – and he kept touching the bracelet.

Later, I explained that he’d need to ‘charge’ the bracelet again – by putting at the roots of a strong tree he admired where ever he was. He needed to visualise the bracelet being zapped with positive energy and regaining its positive effect – and then it would be strong and clean again…
He’s been patting it and taking very good care of it since.

Honestly, he looks happier and more relaxed than he did before. The words came out of my intuition – not from my rational mind…. And I’m realising how much my own disbelief in my intuition has hurt him. He’s a natural emotional and intuitive person – and because I didn’t validate myself – I didn’t validate him… and he knows this – its why he doesn’t feel safe in this world. Because I don’t let him.

But now – its going to be different… Today he’s said he loves me three times – with real delight and intensity – and I know its because I let him be him – just as I am letting me be me…

Thanks be to all for letting this miracle open up and change our lives.

Healing the Body - headache

So- I’m discovering the new methods of self help… doing the best I can with the information I have so far…

I used to do ‘qigong’ – and I understood the energy working through me – and I was improved – absolutely – however – I was not inspired –as I am now…

So – we went out – to the beach – it was a long day – at the markets too – and I bought some beautiful sounding dancing bells… for my angels – it feels as though I have magic feet…

This evening – I developed a headache – and it quickly progressed into a sensation of nausea – and I realised it was the beginning of a migraine – something I haven’t suffered very often in the past 15 years… maybe I’ve had two. I felt fearful –because I remember the hurt – but – I sat down, did my qigong massage – began to meditate – and then asked my intuition what the cause of it was – and what I had to do to release…

Remember – if we create our life by our thoughts… then – I can stop the head ache…
I was told I was being judgemental (of course I was – its my ‘thing’) and, I needed to forgive myself, the one I was judging, and release the negative pattern. I needed, also, to apologise – and mean it…

Of course, its easy – once you stay focused on the ‘all is one’ – and crazy as it seems, even though I’ve experienced it myself, in the flesh – I still slip back into believing the ‘ego’ is ‘real’. Of course its not – its just a fabrication of ideas and beliefs – I forgive myself for slipping sometimes… I am human! And its ok. I’m doing the best I can, and its getting easier every day…

So then, the head ache is still blinding me – and nothing is shifting – just I’m meditating – then – I say – how can if ‘fix’ the head ache – so first of all I was guided to ‘pierce’ it with white light – like sharp white bright light – searing each cell that was pained – then I went into a state of natural chi flow – you can read a bit more about it here if you wish, and I found I was upside down… !
So – I quickly changed clothes, emptied my bladder, and went into a headstand – after a few minutes – I felt a ‘shift’ – and I came down – stayed in down dog for a few more minutes – and stood up –

The headache was gone – and though I can feel a certain sensitivity around my eyes – I feel myself ‘recovered’ … so there –

Of course!! This is NOT a diagnoses for anyone else – it purely personal – and works for me…

Jumps in progress

My progress is jumping forward at a speed that became confusing today.

I’ve been practicing viewing auras – and my ‘energy’ vision has improved to the point of ‘scary’.

When I gave up delving into the energy centres in 1996, I gave up because it became too overwhelming for me to deal with. There wasn’t enough information to help me – perhaps I didn’t look hard enough.

Now, there seems to be information everywhere. Guidance and seminars and online motivational speakers.

Everyone is expressing their intuitive side and explaining how they got there.

All I know, is that for me, there has to be an even and disciplined rate of energy spread over the entire body, mind and spirit. The body must be trained and well fed, the mind must be as pure as your control allows, your spirit must be fed and trained.

I’ve begun to see yellow, green and orange in the aura. I practice on my partner at the moment. As my vision improves, I can see the body, the physical body, changing shape and form under my eyes – I can see the blood moving/clogging in his system. Its overwhelming – and I am training my self to be calm and ‘clean’ at all times.

I need the relaxation of guided meditation to help me through this phase – and I find my greatest inspiration in Caroline Myss. Her voice is truly inspired. She welds intellect with spiritual inspiration on a formidable level. A inspiring and loving teacher.

Chakra cleansing twice a day and numerous use of white light through out the day for cleaning.

I’ve been directed to work on my voice – to increase its ‘healing’ potential. This I will do – and listen!! My guides tell me to ‘sing to the chakras’!! Then I will be able to train my voice for the healing vibration. Amazing… and makes sense… for me..

I’m having trouble with my throat chakra at the moment – its swollen and choking me.. I did some readings on the spiritual blessings forum and feel a little ‘dirty’ from the negative energy.

I need a stronger self defence than I have been using so far.

I think my development is going faster than my spirit can take at just this moment.

Trust, love and patience..