Monday, March 31, 2008

The Eye of the Storm

Its just before the discussion, and I’m feeling a little nervous for the out come. I don’t like confrontations, but this one has been brewing since we arrived three months ago.

It’ll be some kind of catalyst. A point that with the luxury of time will symbolize the kind of outward change I’ve never really hoped could occur for us.

We’ve all been dealing with our past the best we can. My sisters and my brother. We’ve been self focused in remembering the past. Its difficult enough to remember your own suffering, without having someone else’s memories to deal with. But its time. We all need it.

When our grandmother suddenly died, after a double stroke at the age of 89, it was like the storm clouds coming into sight. The clouds have been getting darker and heavier. The past is roaring into the present and I can see it all around me. Its time to address the issues of the past.

The timing wasn’t right before now. This kind of thing couldn’t be manufactured. It seems a preordained moment.

We’re going to sit our mother down and talk to her about a past she denies. We all remember it. We’ve all pussyfooted around her verging hysterics, her stubbornness, her denials, her lurking madness. Its enough. It time.

Wish us luck.

No comments: