Its here. My spirit has found its home. I have one foot on either side of the door. I don’t know for how long, or when it will change, or if I can do this again tomorrow –
But I do know that its here. All of the little hints, the glimpses, the peek show’s into the possibilities of what is around the corner have lead to this moment.
I have waited so long for this. When the inner world gains the upper hand over the outer. When I can feel and trust the inner as more important and more vivid and real than the illusion of the outer. I have known it, I have read about it, I have talked about it – but I have never felt it like this.
Today, as I was walking down the street looking at the concrete, the cigarette butts, the lined faces of the people, it disappeared and I felt the warm glow from within, and my vision changed. Keeping my eyes low, I could feel, on a cellular level, the joy emanating from me and all around me. The animating force of the universe literally jumping for joy in creation.
Everything is permeated with this ‘stuff’ called chi, or energy, or prana. Its movement is known to many. I’ve seen it at times, I’ve felt it at times, but nothing like today.
In a blink of an eye I was moving between two worlds. The concrete as drab, the concrete as bliss. It was just the outer coating, like the autumn jackets on the people. Nothing more. The sad faces, the defeated bodies, its just a coating for the most miraculous creation.
So, I picked up my son from school and I made lunch, and I took him back to school again, and I did my afternoon meditation and
Wham! The spirit of my body crept in and took full possession. I’ve never felt it before. Every cell glowing. The power, the glow, the life. And gratitude! The thanks for letting us use the flesh, for seeing with the eyes, for eating, for looking and learning, the gratitude is immense.
And back again. With the constant weight within my chest – the reminder of the pulse of the universe within each of us. Look with the eyes of love. It reminds me that one of the first gifts that