Thursday, September 3, 2009

Can I Love You?

Can I love you?

Can I love you today?

Can I love you after the illusion has faded away?

Can I love you now, that the gilt has worn down?

Can I love you today?

After all of the disappointments, the lies, the frustrations, the angry words?

Can I love you, truly, with no string attached?

Can I love you, because you are you?

Can I love you without asking for something in return, like honesty, or forgiveness?

Can I love you, anyway?

Can I love you, knowing who you are?

Can I love you, knowing what you’ve said and done?

Can I love you, after making me suffer?

Can I love you at all?

Can I love you after all my tears are dry?

Can I love you when all that is left is a sigh?

Can I love you, more fully than before?

Can I love you after feeling my heart break?

Can I love you, even after that?

Perhaps, it is said, that only when the heart breaks open, can it fit in a little more. Perhaps that little more is the ‘real’ you I never acknowledged. The you I denied in my blindness for my ideal.

Let me release my wants. Let me let go of my expectations. Let me see the truth, and love it, and you, because it is. Let me be free from the tangles of my mind and free in the expression of Love.



ordinary sparrow said...

Tiffany after having the heart broken so many times in this journey of becoming i too asked this question many times. . .Can I love. . .

and came to acceptance that "i" cannot. . .the deeper the peel the more the realization the "i" that can ask this question cannot not love. . ."i" cannot love, "i" was created to grasp, to fill up some kind of deficiency. . ."i" was created to get love needs met outside of that which was true from within. . . .

"i" hit bottom one day with the realization that at "my" core was only "me", "mine", "myself", or in the language of psychology, narcissism. . . ."i" was viewing the world as "me" "not me". . .identification and projection. . .the primary defenses, the false foundation of the false self, "i". . .

Tiffany for me with the embrace of "i" cannot love, there was such release, surrender, and compassion for my egoic self along with spaciousness and acceptance, as you have expressed here. . .i think like you it is a shattering and in that shattering we find the true spaciousness that is only Love. . and the "i" becomes dethroned, for my "i" wanted to control others into a reflection of me and how i needed/wanted them to be, and then "i" would have an illusion of security. . . especially when they where acting from places that lacked integrity as i would know it. . .

such paradoxes. . ."i" cannot love. . .yet Love is who we truly are. . .

The True Essence begins to fill when we Love from the Source of who we truly are and is not contingent on who others are or are not. . . .

dear Tiffany. . .loved this post and know you have these realizations but just wanted to share with you and know we are being breathed by the same breath of who we truly are. .


Tiffany said...

Dear Sparrow -

Thank you. This one was hard to write and hard to face and hard to admit to.

Thank you for your gentle and forgiving response.

I like what you say - and you're right. If I am 'me' and not 'Thee', I don't stand a chance. Letting go, letting go, with each breath. (Even writing that I feel fear in my stomach! :) and breath)

I really loved this response, and what you say, and I like your words and expression.

My body has been going through 'twitching' lately, in meditation. I know its deep cleaning. Never felt it before. Have read about it.

With love and thanks for your perception.

elizabethtool said...

WOW! what a beautiful conversation!!