Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I was trying to formulate the transitional moment. Trying to put it all together. To label it.

The movement from the underworld, where I lived in coldness - and I keep getting stuck there - and now, to the unfolding, the birthing, the flowering of 'all that has come before'.

And I thought, 'let it go'. Its ok. Just let it go. What is, really is. There is nothing else to say. Except - I am ready, I am waiting, I am being, I am.

With Love and deep thanks.

Who am I?

The first time I asked that question, my head split open. My body broke. My heart encompassed the whole world. My eyes saw that I was All, and the I had become We. A sacred Whole.

The Sign

The mountain I see every day from where I am sitting is called 'Montseny'. Its been there for four months and I've been looking at it, on the rim, peering over the apartment blocks, and I've been thinking about it, and what it was.
Its name in English means 'Sign/Signal Mountain'.

Lately I've had quite a few moments of 'not seeing the forest for the trees'. The removal of layers. The peeling off of the onion skin. The removal of dirt from my eye.

Thanks Toilet!

I woke early this morning and thought ‘thank goodness we have a toilet’. My mind showed me times while were travelling in the past two years of just having to find ‘any place’.

I lost most of my finicky requirements of a clean bathroom. One has to travelling cheaply in Asia. Its hard to find toilet paper in most places. The floors can be so filthy, its like the whole space for the toilet is a toilet.

When we lived in the Ambassador Van, we had to go where we could go. At least it wasn’t Norway in the winter in these moments. It could always have been worse, right?

But it had me thinking, how often do we give honest to goodness thanks and appreciation for the ‘basic’ things we have? Running water. Sometimes I turn the tap on, and water runs out – and my mind flashes to stories of women of my mother’s age, when they say they had to go down the river to get buckets full and lug it back home. When they used to have to fetch water from the well. These memories are in our mother’s life time – and it still happens in lucky parts of the world. In the unlucky places, there is no water.

But this is not about guilt. Its just about appreciation. Thanks. Gratitude.

And today, I’m really grateful for my toilet.

What about you? What have you been grateful for today?

A Prayer of Acceptance and Love

Dear God,
Forgive me for interfering in your plans for me. I know that when I assert myself, I deviate from the highest good.
Forgive me for fulfilling 'my' wants, instead of yours.
I know, that if I trust you 100%, you will deliver to me my highest good, in what ever form that will take. I trust that right now, given all the circumstances, my highest good is trying to manifest.
Dear God, give me the grace to give in to you and to feel safe in your hands.
Let me bless this day, because it is a gift.
Let me see the beauty in all, because it is You.
When I struggle to find the answer, please remind me that You are all I need to answer all questions. When my mind struggles to find the answer, remind my heart it is only with faith, endurance, love and compassion that I can find the answer within.
Let me feel gratitude for everything in my life right now. Because it is.

For Sarah

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

New Gifts

Today while I was in meditation with a student, I saw her animal guide. A mouse. The mouse, as soon as I recognised it, turned towards the sun.
The mouse and the lion story came upon me.

Its the second time I have received another's image in the last week. They are indicators into the other's potential given their current energy system.

Shattered Light

Yesterday, after watching Caroline Myss for five hours straight, I lay down for meditation and absorbing. I found myself drifting and the meditation turned into sleep. But it was waking sleep. I was awake. Aware.
As my consciousness moved back into my body, I felt the light shift and I hovered in space. It was a healing. This in between place. I felt like reflected light, tossing and turning on a dark lake. My whole energy body shook, vibrated, leapt and danced. I felt a tinge of fear but stayed in the place, just outside of my body until I couldn't take any more. My concentration broke, and I returned fully into my body.
I got my appetite back. My body lost weight. The pressure around the upper back eased off.
With thanks, and love

Teaching What Needs to Be Taught

As a student, we feel motivated when we are interested in something. We can sit up all night with our face in a book. Its harder and less rewarding to study the topics we’re not so interested in. It can be difficult to build up enthusiasm.

As a teacher, you need to be motivated by your student. Not by your self.

Teach What the Student Needs to Know

That means that sometimes you have to bend the curriculum of what you have prepared, and move around and open up another box of information or wisdom.

The Jesus and Buddhas’ teachings are full of stories. They are similar stories, but they are different, depending on their audience. And finally, when they have spoken taught as best they can, they say, ok then, for those of you with ears, listen!

As an instructor, we need to move fluidly around the material we want to teach. If you see your students/class not responding. Its not their fault. Its yours. You need to take responsibility for doing your best to fulfil their requirements. Sometimes your students won’t like you for it. It doesn’t mean just making them happy. It means, making them grow and develop.

Remember that some of our harders, and yet rewarding lessons in life, have been difficult and even traumatic. If we survive them, we feel enriched and empowered.

The next time you stand in front of your class/student, take a moment to ask yourself ‘How much am I just talking about me? How much am I answering the student’s needs? How can I explain what needs to be taught, so that the student understands me, like a flash of light?

Monday, September 28, 2009

My first memory

I was five. It was in a hall way. I heard something, I was curious, I walked towards the noise and I saw my father on top of my mother. He was holding her down. My mother was struggling. She was wild. Fighting.
I stopped dead still. My father, while still holding her, said to me 'look, I'm holding her down for her own good. She's trying to hurt me.' He seemed calm. She was violent and crazy in her motion. Her hair a big brown fuzz of movement.

My dearest parents.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I forgive you for hurting me. I know how hard it is. I forgive you, whole heartedly. I release this memory. I release this hurt, once and for all, and I embrace you both in love. Thank you for being my teachers in this great journey. Thank you for offering yourself to teach me.
With love, forgiveness for myself and my brothers and sisters, and compassion for your own journey,

Defy Gravity; personal comments

I'm just watching the second half of Caroline Myss's video on her new book Defy Gravity.

We've been talking about the difference in healing in the body, and the white light energy. She has studied it and written about it. The force of the light, direct upon the entrance into the mind.

She sees the human aspect as a 'distortion' - and slowed down and complicated. Jesus could heal at the speed of light. The Sufi's can heal at the speed of light. Remove the obstacles.

Bring in grace. Remove the little self.

Make the leap towards 'holy', 'reverence', 'sacred' - with no compromise.

Defy Gravity.

Remove the mental. I hear you. Integrity.

I have the feeling that Granollers is in the centre of a great crater. Mountains all around, and a desert stretched out in the centre. I wonder if its true?


Advice for Sadhana by Amma

“We are like pure rainwater that has become impure by falling in the gutter. The water in the gutter needs to be cleaned by connecting it to a river, and this is what sadhana does. Even though we are, in reality, the untainted Atman, because we are bound to the gross, physical world, there are impure vasanas (tendencies) present within us. We have to purify our minds by discriminating between the eternal and the ephemeral, and through meditation. And as we are purified by meditating, we grow strong.”

Defying Gravity - Caroline Myss

Take a look when you have an hour or so. The Art of Mystical viewing.

Healing from a Sufi Perspective


The following is an except from Mystic Saint's Blogspot:

The goal of the Sufi and all spiritual paths is nearness to God. In Sufism this is done via following the Sufi path and practices and Jihad or struggling against the lower self or nafs. It is the lower self that keeps humans distant from God. Islam and Sufism is about surrendering to the will of God through following this path. Once near God, alterations of mechanistic laws may occur. This nearness to Allah is the explanation of so-called miracles performed within religious contexts of ancient times and today.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


I just wrote this for the Catalonia blog – but actually, I was writing two pieces at once.

First Half

Catalonia has not yet come into her own. She is blooming after the repression of the Franco years and the introduction of Spain into the European community, but she is still shaking off the hold of Spanish rule and bucking at the new people coming to live amongst her people.

There is insistence of speaking the Catalan language, of waving the Catalan flag, of protecting the Catalan culture, and yet, it seems, she is reacting against her past and not resonating with the prosperity of her present.

When we were travelling to and from Australia, people asked Albert where he was from. He would say ‘Spain.’ They would say, ‘Madrid?’ He would say ‘No, Barcelona.’ There would be a great smile and warmth and the word ‘Catalonia?’ and, no matter how many times we had this conversation, we would be amazed that people knew the difference.

Obviously, the soccer team, Barce has helped sell the awareness of Catalonia to soccer watching nations. However, Barcelona as a city, has become a by word in cultural cool. Its sexy, its charming, its hot, it has everything a traveller is looking for. The Costa Brava is near by, the Pyrenees is over the hill, and the food is to die for.

So, the world knows about you. They know you exist. They know you are not the same as Spain. They see you as a most beautiful, charming and wonderful place. With something unique to offer the world.

Now its time for you, Catalonia, to accept your position as a jewel in the crown of the world.

Second Half

Tiffany has not yet come into her own. She’s blooming after the repression of ideas of how things should be, and responding well to the world travelling, but she is still shaking off the hold of her Early Years of Protection and bucking at the new role she is being given.

There is insistence on following old Tiffany paths, of waving the Me flag, of protecting the Tiffany entity, and yet, it seems, she is reacting against her past and not resonating with the prosperity of her present.

In the previous years of her life, people have responded positively to her. They have loved her, called her ‘angel’, ‘blessing’, ‘precious’ and ‘dear’. And she looked behind her, to see who they were talking to. There was no response in her heart that resonated from the gift of the other’s love.

So, the world knows about you. They know you exist. They know you are not the same as you were. They see you as hopeful, happy, and helpful. With something unique to offer the world.

Now its time for you, Tiffany, to accept your position.

To accept the ‘I am.’ To feel it resonate within. To allow it to be.

Full forgiveness.

Full love.

Full acceptance.

Full awareness.

Fully united.

Aloe Vera

I've had five plants since arriving in Spain. They have all died, except for the Aloe Vera. Its thriving.

It was a plant given to me by a yoga student. When I first saw it, it was healthy. I took it under my care, and it started to look sick. I was afraid I was going to kill it also.

I took a step back and thought of my smother love attitude to plants, and let it go.

I was looking at the aloe today, and its thriving. Not just healthy, but vibrant with life. Its even sprouted a little baby in its soil.

I did a bit of research. The Hindus called it 'the silent healer'. It has been a symbol of beauty, health, longevity and healing for many peoples.

The Spanish are given credit for bringing it to Europe, and it was used by priests and grown in monasteries as a healing aid.

Jesus Christ was anointed in Aloe Vera (John 19:39)
The Burial of Jesus
38Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews. With Pilate's permission, he came and took the body away. 39He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. 40Taking Jesus' body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

I drowned the other plants in too much water. I gave them more than they were capable of absorbing. With the Aloe Vera, I waited for the soil to dry out, and then watered it, when it was ready.

Enki, the Sumerian God of Wisdom, is also the god of the waters. He is father to Ningal, the moon goddess, and the grandfather to Inanna.

This ties in with a conversation I was having about limits and energy within the mind/body and breaking those limits before the 'whole' was ready for transition.

The wisdom is. The water is. It is.

The seeker, if her chalice is already full, can not take any more water/wisdom. There is even the possibility of drowning in too much water/wisdom.

Wisdom, the water, must wait until the chalice is ready to be filled. Must wait until the chalice is empty.

I have always had the tendency to 'tell the truth'. Regardless of the consequences. Even if the ears were not receptive.

Its time to take my watering can and place it upon the shelf until the timing is right.

That means, just as I watched the Aloe Vera plant, testing its soil, and being careful of its nature, I need to keep this same observance/awareness in my daily life.

I am that I am.
God grant me patience and humility to await for Your guidance.

with Love

A Crack in the Earth's Crust

Last night I woke with an image of the earth cracking.

I'm a bit in the dark with this one. A shift? An opening? It didn't feel like destruction. But an opening.

Really a way into the darkness?

The Moon and its Secrets

The moon is bright before us. Before we had electricity, the moon lit the world at night. But only sometimes. She showed her full face, or just the profile as she turned away.

And yet, the moon is constantly orbiting the earth. His disappearance is an illusion. An illusion created by how much light he can catch upon his face.

The emotions change. The world around us changes. But we endure. We are still there. It looks like it is changing, but it is not. The light has long been a symbol of knowledge and enlightenment. We feel secure in our knowledge at times, and then, fall, as the light leaves us.

But still, we endure.

The constancy of the moon is not often sung – but I wish to remind us, that although she appears to leave us, she is always there. Her constancy is like a weight inside of me, grounding me to the energetic body. I feel my heart and mind coming together in understanding and acceptance.

It is the right key for me to move another step along the road.

The moon gives me acceptance of change.

It allows me to shake off the guilt of moods.

It is constant, like the pulse of the universe in my blood cells.

I accept the moon into my heart, with a smile.

I have looked upon its face with wonder at its ever changing beauty.

Change is all around us. There is nothing that sits still and is set.

Except us. We label, we name, we describe, we make a belief around the very nature of life, and then we discuss it to make sure we know what we are talking about and others also know, and if they do not, then we will teach them, the ‘right’ way. And the moon keeps changing her face. The earth keeps turning, the wind keeps blowing, the leaves keep falling, the rains keep falling, the rivers keep flowing, the birds keep singing.

Look at this link, page 25, of the chapter ‘moony’ by D. H. Lawrence.

Desperate we are, vicious in our need to assert the ‘I’. All we can do is break. And yes, when we break, the person we thought we were disappears, and someone else remains in their place.

The moon, when I feel it, is not male or female to me. So perhaps I will shift its gender depending on the context.

The Dolmen as a Gateway to the Underworld

I’ve been reading the Inanna story intently. There have been moments of ‘ahh’ throughout this whole experience.

I keep seeing flashes of the beginning, when I was laying on the floor of my bedroom last year, feeling myself dying and struggling and finally breaking. And then back to the present, with the moon as my guide, and a little bird as my friend and mentor.

We stopped the car in the right village at the right church. While we were waiting for Albert to see if the tourist office was open, a dragonfly alighted upon the side mirror of the car.

Dragonflies were my messengers last year, following me everywhere and bringing me great love and joy. Little winged serpents. Dragons that fly. The earth and the heavens in one.

This reminds me that I did my English Literature thesis on D. H. Lawrence and the search for self in Women in Love and The Plumed Serpent. Do not mistake coincidence for destiny, as Mr Echo and Locke say…

The walk is two hours. We’re going to see a Dolmen, called ‘the gentle stone’.

We see some beautiful trees and plants.

The path is quite easy most of the way.

Jett sees the hill first and runs up calling to us ‘this is magnificent’ and ‘this is really something’. I was starting to think this pile of stones was going to be huge.

A tomb, to people long gone.

I greeted the area respectfully. Approached with all ears open and sat down beside the rocks to meditate and offer my silence, my receptivity.

I heard that the land was chosen up on a hill, because it was closer to the heavens. The stone was used because it was to endure, like the gods and like the spirit once we die. Its not the same material to be used for when we live.

I heard that the stones were from the earth, dug up. As symbols from the under ground. Offerings were laid upon the flat rock above, as appeasement to the gods.

I heard that I could feel the details of the ones inside – but in fact, it was the same. It was life, and death. It was light, and darkness. It was creativity, and suppression. It didn’t change. I felt pain in my right hand. I placed it upon the rock – and let it go.

We said our thanks. We walked home and looked up into the glorious green of the canopy above.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Doorway to the Underworld

Today we are going to see a dolmen, not so far from here. It was Albert's suggestion. I didn't know about them before. I was researching their significance quickly, just now - some suggest it is a doorway to the underworld - 'the great below' and the Sumerians used them too. Dating back 3000 years or more.
I'll take photos and update as we go.

With love

The Book of Inanna

Words written by the woman who weaved the story from the ancients -

‘I was drawn to the story of the woman who gave away, at seven successive gates, all she had accomplished in life until she was stripped naked, with nothing remaining but her will to be reborn.’ p.xvi

‘the word for ear and wisdom in Sumerian are the same.’ p.xii

‘as Kramer spoke, a shiver ran through me. When taken literally, the text itself announces the story’s direction: From the Great Above the goddess opened (set) her ear, her receptor for wisdom, to the Great Below.’ p.xvii

‘During the first year, I dreamed of being in a enormous meadow and having the task of cleaning the meadow – blade by blade.’ p.xviii

Inanna Queen of Heaven and Earth – Diane Wolkstein an Samuel Noah Kramer (New York, 1983) Harper and Row

Cut in Half

Last night, my son came came into our room. I could hear he'd had one of his disturbing dreams.
I patted the bed, 'Sit here. Are you ok?'
'Yes. Now its all right. I dreamt you were cut in half, and there was blood and your eyes were popping out.'
I smiled in the darkness. My death. Of the physical. Change is surely announced.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Roads, Walking - the path

I woke this morning with visions of the open road in front of me. I was walking, and I was in a car. I didn't know where I was going.

It triggered the awareness of my inability to orientate myself in new places. I have a feeling for where I should go, but I don't know where I am going until I get there. I have no idea how to return.

Lately, in physical life, I've been walking around my area, trying to explore and become familiar with the area. I looked up now, and there is a big balloon over the mountain range. I was listening to Dr E and her talk about flying dreams. The ability to get a new perspective.

Perhaps I don't need to stay on the ground to find my way. :) I can fly and get a birds eye view. :)

At any rate, I'm on the journey. I'm very happy to have a little bird flying by some times.

I remembered too - next year, we're going to walk the Santiago trail! I thought of that too.

With love

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Inanna - the story links

Last year, in 2008, we were travelling in Australia. We stopped by a book store in Kuranda. It was a women's initiative. We couldn't buy many books because we were travelling lightly. I only bought what I had a feeling for.

I bought this book,

Inanna. Queen of Heaven and Earth. I didn't know why at the time. I wasn't particularly interested in her, actually, I'd never heard of her before. But, something about the carving kept pulling me back. I was sure I had to buy it. I did. Its been sitting in the book shelf since we arrived here.

Today, Albert cleaned up the books lying around. We are still settling in with the furniture. Going slowly. I resorted the books, and Inanna stood before me in all sincerity. Now I have two books beside my computer. Montserrat and Inanna.

Inanna's father is the moon god, Sin/Nanna. (There are many spellings of his name that are so close to Amma, by the way, its impossible to overlook.) And as I was looking for images, I found this one, already made up.  It was as though it was a message, a gift, a treasure.

And look at this - from Judith Shaw

Also, this is a long post on Venus, Inanna's star.

With Love

Montserrat - the book

Yesterday I was in Barcelona for the first time in a month. There is a book fair this week. As I was walking past the books, I came across one that had 'Montserrat' emblazoned across the front cover.

The book is written by Jacinto Verbaguer. It was first published in 1890, as far as I can make out. Mine is not a first edition, though the book is well worn and falling to pieces. It cost 10 Euros.

I will need help in translating it, as its written in Catalan.

Inside, it says 'Llegendari, cancons, odes'. The front cover has the mountain of Montserrat, a cross, the virgin with a crown and child, men praying to her.

The picture I found on the internet is small. Sorry for that.

With Love

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Call of the Moon

My mind's eye brings forth the glowing full moon, and two hands drawn together in prayer.

Devotion. Surrender.

The moon turns into an all seeing eye. It is one and the same.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Embracing the Feminine

There are some definitive moments when I consciously moved from the androgenous into the feminine space. It was less like embracing and more like being an aggressive driver of a dodgem car.

I was 30 when I started to wear ‘pretty’ clothes, or clothes that flattered the figure. That’s not to say I have never worn them before, but I made a conscious decision to enhance my figure with clothing. That is, I wanted to change my outer image from tomboy/sports person to feminine and attractive. Yes. I wanted to be seen as attractive. I was going to manipulate my image. I felt a certain dirtiness in doing this. Its the same fear of 'wonderbras' that I have had. Pretending you have something you don't.

I bought my first pair of jeans and they were tighter than any pants I’ve worn before. I bought a pair of semi high heels and tops that fitted into the figure and didn’t cover my bottom. Wearing these things all together was a challenging experience. I was self conscious and embarrassed and knew that I had to do this to myself because I had daggers of judgement towards girls who dressed like this every day.

I had to embrace what I disliked so that I could stop to dislike it.

My problem with women started when I was born. My mother’s stories were that my father wanted a boy child. I was strong from the moment I was born. Small but strong, flexible, always awake, hardly eating, good natured, observant and climbing everything.

My father used to hang me from the door way with just my fingers curled into the frame at 6 months old.

I wanted to be a boy. I thought I was a boy. I wasn’t emotional. I disliked pink. I hated dolls and dresses.

I resented bras and bows and fluffy fancy things.

Women were weak. They cried and were dramatic. They were victims, shadows, manipulators, trappers of men, using their intelligence to trap and fool men.

Why did I think these things? Just watching the interactions of my parents, of the world around me. I had so much hate towards females in general.

The silliness, the giggling, the talk of boys, the concern for their hair, the preciseness of their pencil boxes.

It didn’t help that I was considered ‘plain’ and had a figure that was described as ‘straight up and down’, that my thighs were so big from running I couldn’t fit into normal sized pants and had to wear sport clothes, that my face was freckled and my mother adored clear beautiful skin, where my hair was wavy and brown and my mother loved thick black curly hair, that my mother thought the perfect waist was one you could put to hands around and actually, I didn’t have a waist. And so forth and so on.

I used to go swimming at 6 – 7 am twice a week and have competition on Sunday. I used to go to athletics training twice a week and have competition on Saturday. I used to jog for 45 minutes every morning that I wasn’t swimming with the local surf club. That was when I was 8.

In my thirties I took a shot of vodka, then another one, and then I went to my first belly dance class with my good friend Mitra. A class that changed my life. A class I was so afraid of – to move the body freely. To move the hips. To shake the shoulders. To let the hair be free. To embrace the female body with its curves and beauty.

I felt my feet pound the floor to the drums – and it was awakening the female power from below. My feet pounded on the door to our great Mother. My hips moved in circles – winding, calling, and invoking the snake goddess of dreams and darkness. My arms and hands moved out into the space around me and felt the energy of light. I became darkness interacting with light. Light was my medium.

I went home to Australia and made my peace with the black and the white. I gave my tears of sorry to the despair, and I gave my bowing and forgiveness to the arrogance. I took the earth into me and felt her release her floodgates of love. She had always loved me. I just didn't know it. I had to release my own hates and unhappinesses. To feel the Mother's love, you have to let go. You have to clean the inner self.

I moved here, to Catalonia, to a place that is blessed by the Virgin of Montserrat. The virgin of the serrated mountain. The Black Madonna. Its where I have come, to place my roots down into the earth, and to make a home. My first home where I can leave my things and travel to other places without selling/giving away all of my possessions as I have done three times before.

The Mother Earth – the continual healing, the continual giving, the continual renewal – without end. We scream at her, and she gives us food. We hit her, and she gives us sunsets of such beauty we think we will die. We destroy her ornaments and she gives us flowers.

Its time to grow up. To stop the tantrums. To turn to her and embrace her with love and gratitude. For everything thing the Mother represents. For everything the female represents. For everything.

And this does not mean we are against the Father. Not at all. It just means, we are for the mother. When she is strong, and has been awakened, we can allow the sacred meeting of the father and mother to take place within each of us. The light, the darkness. The rational and the irrational. The waking and the dreaming. The mountain and the valley.

Thank you to my mother, thank you to my Grandmothers, thank you to my sisters, thank you to my father, thank you to my first female friends, thank you to Mitra, thank you to Sevika, thank you to Sarah, thank you to Geir, thank you to Anders, thank you to Jett, thank you to Katrine, thank you to my brother, thank you to Albert, thank you to Elizabeth, thank you to our dear Mother and thank you to Ordinary Sparrow for helping to bring the clay into some sort of identifiable shape with a master’s touch.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Surrender into Space

Last night was the new moon. I’ve been reading Ordinary Sparrow’s words, and then I listened to Caroline Myss on her new book on Defying Gravity.

This morning I woke up with an image of the earth floating in space. And the conviction that the self, in its search for ‘trust’ and ‘surrender’ and being ‘One’ needs the same, it is the same, Trust and Being that the earth has in its ‘hanging in space’.

Pause to think about that for just a moment. The rest of what I write is mere repetition.

If we look at the picture, if we contemplate the strangeness, the impossibility of it – the rational mind expands to a point of confusion and shuts down. This is the point. We can’t understand the hows and whys – but the fact remains, IT IS.

It is.

The earth hangs in space and this weird suspension, with all its miracles and queerness and mystery, this ultimate existence is the same incomprehensible, irrational Trust that we must surrender to to reach the place we need to go.

The leap of faith. The free fall. The Knowing that is of the blood. The seeing that is of the Third Eye. The Pulse of the Earth is our own pulse.

‘We are the world.’ We are the Earth. There are studies comparing the human body to the earth and its physical relationship or connection. However, its psyche? The Earth with its pollution (that humans create), is it not our negativity blocking our energy system? The increased instability in weather is our own personal lack of grounding or imbalance. The weather is of the air – air is the element of the mind. They are all symbols and symptoms of our very personal struggle.

I think again of Dr Len. Heal thyself. Heal the world.

With Love

Friday, September 18, 2009

From Light to Darkness - The Tao Within

By all accounts, I was a happy sunny child.

Life shone upon me, and I grew into a hard blend of Artemis and Athena. Withholding and defending my light with arrows of judgement and eternal virginity. Hunting for more of my kind. People to believe in what I had become.

When I questioned my coldness, the light grew stronger and stronger and shattered my image until the all became One and one became All.

Then the Darkness arose, for I had returned home to claim my sorrow, my guilt, my incomprehension, my fears and offer my love and forgiveness to myself and all.

The Darkness was so deep into my blood, it began to turn into Light. The light and the darkness merged and I saw that it was the same, but different.

The Golden Tao.

The threads of my new life begin to create the new form for this phase. Its delicate shape arises little by little with threads of gold from the extraordinary of the ordinary.

With Love and thanks for all that has been, and for all that has yet to come.