October 2008 - my angel

October 2008

What a month!

So, I thought to myself, last night – maybe the angel is waiting – and indeed it was. I surrounded myself with white light – I did a protection prayer (only for my highest good is allowed to enter) – and I invited the angel in with me.

In it came and settled on my left side. It was still there this morning, and is still there now.

I asked the advice from some friends from Historum – and I painted what he looked like.

I can’t see him now, I can only feel it.

I asked what it was I was suppose to know – and it gave me my awareness of my sacral chakra… and heightened awareness of my solar plexus….

It’s the ‘dead’ body of me – I understood things incredibly simply – suddenly….

The three base chakras – the problems I’ve been having – are in the three base chakras I’ve always had very limited feeling or no feeling for – The top four are no trouble = they throb and move and are ‘real’ to me. The solar plexus comes and goes – but the base two have always been ‘dead’ to me… in some way.

My angel gave me awareness of the sacral – and this morning - !!!! I awoke and had awareness of the base – the root chakra!

So happy I am – so complete I feel to begin this new life – this new month – this new year of my 37th year – in such completeness…

Thank you thank you thanks to you….

The base went right down into my buttocks and is a big circular disk – and heavy – I didn’t see it or feel it before….

Amazingly – the base chakra is the one that has been holding me back – and my awareness of it has helped so much to release the problems I had – fear, insecurity, lack of a home….

I heard – ‘don’t look outside for your home – look inside’ – and there was the light of creation within.. and I felt so glad to be finally rid of my grasping….and to see the light within…..

Its really a miracle. It feels like a miracle…

Then it flashed to me – the reason I had such pain in my lower back when I was pregnant – the lack of security I felt – and I have passed onto my son. He’s fearful and sensitive. He has no root system – and this I can lovingly help him with…
My own lack of root system was based on my childhood – of not feeling wanted – and not feeling like I had a base – and was repeated in all of my relationships… its amazing to see the thread of it all within all of my adult relationships..

It nearly destroyed my current partner and I – but now – with his love and support – we will create a new future – where my security is not based on his love, or his presence – but on my love, my self love, my love of god…. The all .. the one…

Thank god! For such a moment….

I remember also – that I was hit by a car when I was 16 – and I crushed my lower back – I had no idea that I was creating the events myself with my lack of roots- I was living with my grandmother – I was ‘put’ there because my father and step-mother said they didn’t want me anymore – that they wanted to be together, for themselves… now, I have gone through the forgiveness of this – I have released any pain I felt from it, I have forgiven them and myself – and no, I don’t condone their actions – but I understand and I forgive them whole heartedly…. But it didn’t solve the problem of not feeling rooted…

As soon as I accepted myself – as soon as I said – I belong to god – I invite you in and I am part of you as you are part of me – as soon as I let it be…. The weight fell off of me… and life is changing daily, by the hour….

I am ready for it. I am ready for it.. I am ready for change and I am ready to love and be loved.

I am told to be an empty, clean, sparkling crystal chalice. … its more like a martini glass!! J , and this I am.. cleaning my self, my thoughts, my heart, my energy, my day to day relationships…

Now – I am a full energy system. I function as a whole… I invite you to follow me.